- Not The Only One!
- Post #42
- ” The Call”
- Howdy and again, thank you for checking in. I’m late with this post because, I’ve been defiant. I had very carefully crafted a nice detailed post, that only one person in the world would have gotten the actual meaning behind the words. I have not kept it a secret that I’m a follower of Jesus Christ. I know sometimes that I write edgy things that may bring that into question, however the facts are what they are and there is more than sufficient evidence to convict me on this particular case. Fair warning, there is still more edginess ahead of us. So , God said no to me publishing what I wrote and the God’s honest truth is that I wrestle with God on this one, even though in my heart, I had no question that He was right, but I wanted to do it anyway. Yes, more of the stove is hot, but I have to touch it to make sure, after all it’s not the first burn in my life and probably won’t be the last. So, again defiant. It has taken a tremendous amount of time for me to surrender this one, and as I said before, I know that He is correct and wiser than myself. The really stinking part is that I can see it for what it is, and I still want to disregard the correct path to take. Just in case you aren’t paying attention, this is classic stupidity. I want to save you some time here, as my friend Amy reminded me, just yesterday, I can’t win against the Creator of the universe. I can’t even tell you that it’s been just a little bit of fun , because it hasn’t. I think for the most part it has just been me sulking in my corner, calling it processing the information, while there has already been a whole Dissertation written, with foot notes, complete with those little damn index cards. It’s just been waiting for me to come along side and agree with the body of work. Ok, so bottom line is, I didn’t throw the post out, but it needs a major rewrite without the venom, and the emotional darkness. The darkness is not a good place to be, unless I’m writing a script for one of those slasher movies ☺️☺️. The post was called “Lip Service “, so keep an eye out to see if I can Resurrect it. Okay, again I set it a side and this is what popped out. There is a Christian artist, by the name of Steven Curtis Chapman and many years ago, he had a song called, ” The Call”. Its a great song and it is highly recommended for your play list. The song was about the early disciples, that Jesus had called to come and follow Him . There is a cost associated with following Him , or anyone else, and we need to be aware of that and be prepared to count the cost. The early disciples for the most part were ragamuffets and misfits, fishermen, prostitutes, and tax collectors to name a few. They answered the call without hesitation and with some degree of urgency. I wish that I could say that was me, just throwing it all to the wind without concern for the path that I may find myself on, but sadly, I can’t claim that. Sometimes I find myself to be more of a Pharisees than anything else. In mind, If not out of my mouth, I would be demanding a miraculous sign. I honestly don’t know what my response would be if I was hanging out with a Cat that could walk on water, make an endless supply of wine, calm the storms, and feed thousands of people from a few loaves of bread, and to say nothing about raising people from the dead. I want to say that I would have been awe struck and overwhelmed by His majesty and just worshipped Him, but I honestly don’t know and it gives me great comfort that the men who were closes to him every single stinkin day, didn’t get it either, until after the Resurrection . If you want, you can just call that a little bonus material, but I want to touch on the “Call”. We all have things that we are called to or compelled to do, and sometimes it is an actual “Calling” in or on your life. I feel this way about people who are called to full time ministry, whether it is a priest, pastor, rabbi, nun, or even heading up some non-profit. We may or may not view these as monumental and life altering vocations, however callings may not always be so lofty or distinct, but it in no way lessen the call. Some may be called to be incredible moms, after all, that is one of the toughest jobs on the planet. Some may be called to pick up the mantle of injustice, much like Dr. King was and did. I’ve heard people speak about being called to climb Mt. Everest or some other incredible feat, that very few humans get to experience, but I don’t view or put them in the same category, because for the most part it is a personal challenge to one’s self, and does very little for a greater good. We all have callings on our lives and as to whether it is for a season or a lifetime, no less a calling. If you came from, or was raised in an abusive environment or home, your calling may be to break the cycle of dysfunction in your family, oh and by the way, that is a herculean adjustment to make, and many fail by the wayside and just slip into what has become a normal pattern for their family, but some do succeed and achieve a break through for future generations. The funny or maybe not so amusing thing about a call , is that we don’t always get it, whether it be out of fear, selfishness or just a general lack of clarity. We have all known or heard of people who have felt as if they were being called to step out and start their own business. This is a place where we just land all over the whole map. Some grab the bull by the horns, while others are gored by the bull. We all have different make ups and temperaments, so for some why the calling to start a small business, it will always be just that, a small business, for others, something that started out in a garage, will become a juggernaut and end up as a fortune 500 . Some calls ,or dreams will fall somewhere in between the two, while others are never realized because of fear, or lack of resources and motivation. If the call ends up on the rocks of disappointment, does it make it any less of a calling?. I don’t have an answer for unrealized potential, untapped talent, or people who shoot for the moon, yet never leave the atmosphere, let alone the ground. Callings very from person to person, and often individuals, never catch a vision, or never have the faintest idea, as to why they exist or what the purpose of that existence is. Some people are bothered by the vastness of the unknown, while others have a much more lackadaisical approach to life , and it’s just aimlessly to be lived without much thought, other than where their next meal or cigarette may come from. As I said earlier, sometimes for a season, or specified time frame or for a lifetime . We can look all through history and see people who stepped up to events and challenges that were much bigger than themselves. I’m sure Sully, didn’t just wake up one morning and think to himself, I wonder what it would be like to land a commercial jet liner on the Hudson River. Perhaps it’s not something as daring or dramatic, maybe it’s someone running across a restaurant floor to save someone from choking. Regardless of the situation, some will always just view it as being in the right place at the right time. Let me interject a little bit of humor here. There is something known as a DOM, it stands for a dirty old man. Guess what? No one, just suddenly wakes up one day and decides to be a DOM. They were always a dirty person, with derelict thoughts and intentions and they just got old. So ,whether a commercial pilot or a good Samaritan, they are a sum of all of their experiences. I want to make this personal and hopefully share a new crease with you. I spoke of the post that God prevented me from publishing, He was calling me to take a road less traveled and that is the one with Him. My sinful nature and selfish wants and desires sometimes places a chasm between myself and God, and He ever so gently taps me on the shoulder to get my attention, yet it’s still up to me, as if I want to acknowledge and yield to His presence in my life. As I said earlier, I can be pretty defiant, not proud of that, and it’s nothing to brag about. I know for some of you that is complete and utter nonsense, yet there are others of you who completely get it. Again no matter which camp you find yourself in , this is a profound calling for me to give up my will here. This is new territory for me because of some of the redecorating God has done in my life. I have experienced a wound so deep and painful , that it has left me with a hobble. The immediate human response resembles something close to the “Empire Strikes Back”. Its that old school eye for eye thing, but its not God’s way. He calls us to love our enemies, and while this is not someone that I would categorize as an enemy, the pain that they inflicted would only come from someone who is definitely not in the friend camp. God has been calling me to forgiveness, when it’s absolutely the furthest thing from my heart and mind. This is being stretched in ways previously unknown to me. It’s not that I haven’t forgiven people before, after all, that is the primary pillow for which Christianity is built upon. However ever God has used this tremendous pain in my life for a deeper understanding into His truth. I often think that I already know all of this, and then He says do you really understand what I want from you? Before He rearranged this and reshuffled the deck on me, I don’t think that this is something that I would have felt so deeply or perhaps not at all, but He is reminding me that He doesn’t waste any of our pain, and that He is faithful, when others are not. This has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to work through and it’s a ongoing process. And yes even more painful than my divorce. Unfortunately forgiveness isn’t something you do one day and just move on from , because there will be good days as well as some not so hot. There will be triggers that bring it back to mind in sometimes a fresh and new way, but hopefully over time it will become less and less. I often tell people that getting older is not for the weak or faint at heart, and it is not, but neither is the game of Love. See, that is the problem at its core, its not supposed to be a game, but for many they never grow beyond that. God says, not to run ahead of Him, and at all cost protect and guard your heart. A very painful lesson to learn. This blog is called not the only one, so I know that there others of you out there ,who have been down this road, so before I go, let me hit you with some truth. First of all to forgive someone who has hurt or wronged you is not you condoning what they did .I know that we want them to be made aware of the destruction that they brought to bare, but you are going to have to accept that may never happen on this side of eternity. Many times they leave a wake of destruction that they are completely oblivious to and they are unaware of collateral damage they have caused . If you forgive, you don’t give them permission to come back and repeat the process. And probably one of the most important things to remember is that, if you don’t forgive, you are only hurting yourself and you allowing them to live rent free in your head, it holds you back, while they care free to look for their next mark, or victim if you prefer . We don’t grow unless we embrace the pain and learn with God’s help, learn to work through it. Remember God forgave us, so we have to forgive others, and maybe, just maybe, they will see the bigger picture and catch a glimmer of the light.
- Till next time ✌️ peace
- Sandy The Southerner
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