- Not The Only One!
- 18 Apr 24
- Post #129
- ” Oh!! Bless Your Heart “
- Howdy!
- Thanks again for taking the time to help me with my mental health crisis ☺️☺️. I don’t always know how certain things or topics get brought to the forefront . Sometimes it maybe something in the news, or a dream, but most often from a conversation or by just doing life. If you have been around for a while or raised in or somewhere around the south, then you know that ” !Oh Bless Your Heart ” is one of the most sly insults that can be offered to someone ☺️☺️. I know that I’ve been on both sides of this saying and probably had it said about me , more than the other way around. First up, it’s a knock on your intelligence , as if you didn’t know that you weren’t supposed to put blood in the ocean before taking a swim in the ocean ☺️☺️. Then there is always playing with something electrical while standing in a puddle of water ☺️☺️. It more often takes the stance that its general information that the whole world knows and that you somehow played hooky from school on the day that information was covered in class. ☺️In there heart of hearts they are thinking to themselves, where were you on the day that God was passing out brains,? because someone else got Your share☺️☺️.
- I recently had the opportunity to connect with an old friend and we were discussing their business. I’m like the furthest thing in the world from being a multimillionaire or any other kind of millionaire, but I know of a few people who fall into that category and they are one of those. She deals with other tycoon types, and many of her peers are people who epitomize the cut throat mentality often associated with business. I think that it’s like anything else in life and people believe that there is a wide array of approaching things. And just like almost every thing else in life we get ourselves in trouble when we are not on the same page and moving in the same direction, with like minded goals and people.
- Many things in business have safe guards In place when it comes to ethics and or a code of conduct. Often these things are put in place to ensure stability and a consistent way of making sure that others are treated fairly. Regardless of how big the pool maybe, there will always be a certain segment that will try to bend the rules, skirt around the edges or seek out loop holes. My friend is a shark , but not a cannibalistic one. It’s amazing sometimes the lengths and things that people will do in the pursuit of making more money . A little background. My friend acquired certain business partners through a merger, and the sale of a business, and almost right off the bat understood that they weren’t going to be people of high integrity and looking to pursue the moral high ground☺️☺️ Again , it’s usually disastrous when we aren’t operating from common ground. A little over two years ago my friend made a concession to her new business partners and they received that as blood in the water and she has been fighting every since to keep things above board and within government compliance. That’s right, you heard me correctly, their business falls under Uncle Sam’s compliance rules. The problem is that the way the business is structured , her name is on everything and they get to operate with mostly immunity. They are basically getting a free ride at her expense. When it hits the fan, she will be on the hook with the cuff links and they would get to walk away with perhaps a slap on the risks.
- I think that you have some picture of what is going on here, even if it’s a vague one☺️☺️ So….what should her response be? What is appropriate? When we are trying to get out without to many scars to your reputation your name, our character and integrity ? I think for the most part we try or attempt to treat people the way that we want to be treated. Even this approach will sometimes be seen and taken as more blood in the water . In this day and age of give to get, we still mostly play by the rules of an eye for an eye. It’s so much human nature to be a Donald Trump and to take the response that whatever you do, I’m going to make you regret that you ever went there in the first place. ☺️☺️. Most people don’t like being associated with him, but we all have it within us and probably go there a lot more than we care to admit ☺️☺️. Have you blocked, ghosted or even unfriended someone on social media??☺️☺️. Back to my friend. I want to tell you that she took the high road and I’m not going to attempt to justify anything here, but she was treated with a few short emails full of expletives and an abrupt, ” We Are done here”! They were basically saying or her interpretation of it was , if you’re not going to allow us to continue to rape you and take advantage of you at will, then we have no further use for you ☺️☺️. I’m not sure what the honorable thing was here to do, but it came down to what was necessary and that was to start reporting and getting uncle Sam involved and awake from his slumber while all of this was going on. It got less about getting even and more about protecting one’s self and to stop the *hemorrhaging . ☺️☺️☺️. The fines can get really expensive and the survivorship of your business could actually come into play. It’s real easy for me to sit back and play Monday morning quarterback and to say that, no good deed goes unpunished, but it did start with giving a concession, trying to make friends with the unfriendly ☺️☺️. There are sharks and then there are the one’s who snack on their own kind☺️☺️.
- I know that God calls us to a higher standard , with the whole turn the other cheek thing, which is way easier said than done. When we are injured, we just want to stop the bleeding as well, or somehow lessen the pain. When we give back to people, what they have given to us , it feels great at first and completely justified and deserved. When the dust settles and sometimes within moments we realize that was not the best course of action, and the momentarily feelings of joy and victory for punching them back, quickly evaporates . I sometimes have encounters with people who trigger me and I’m also kind enough to return the favor for them ☺️☺️. This is great because our communications are as clear as mud☺️. Even when I think that we want and are pursuing the same things, that we somehow end up on opposites sides of the map. Its a real hard sell to end up in Detroit, when we were shooting for South Beach☺️☺️. You have seen this , I say one thing and they hear something completely different. I often think that’s it about where we think a conversation is headed. If, I’m correct here, then that means that I didn’t finish listening to what Steve Harvey saying before I blurted out my answer ☺️☺️. This is great if you find yourself in one of those relationships where you finish one another’s sentences ,otherwise, then not so much! ☺️☺️.
- Take any relationship, be it a business one , where millions of dollars may be at risk, or a personal one with just two very fragile and deeply bruised hearts at risk. If they can’t come together at the corner of communications, trust and respect, then you might as well be discussing brain surgery or quantum physics.☺️☺️ I believe that God takes great pleasure in putting things together in a way that only He can. Things and people who look diametrically opposed to one another, fitting together like a jigsaw puzzle. Perhaps it’s another one of those places where we are much more comfortable trusting ourselves than trusting God. If we can’t see it, then we can trust and have faith in the unseen….excuse me! Isn’t that exactly what faith is , having faith in the unseen? I don’t know about You, but I love situations where God steps in and turns something on its head. Something from way out in left field that we never saw coming. The crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ was an supreme example of this, but I believe that God wants to do other things of this nature if we are willing to exercise patience and demonstrate a little faith, sometimes as small as a mustard seed ☺️☺️.
- At the end of the day I can only point to my own frailties and short comings. I’m an all star at loving people in a way that doesn’t make them feel loved or valued. It sounds idiotic on the surface, but I believe that we all give love in the way that we want to receive it, which may not always be the thing to fills up the other person’s love bucket. This would require an adjustment in operating procedures, and if you find yourself slow or resistant to change, this can make the process painful on the behalf of all parties. It’s like when you are young and break a bone, four to six weeks and you are almost good as new, but not so after forties and beyond, we just don’t mend or rebound as fast , especially with our hearts.
- I have always loved the workings of the human mind, almost as much as history. It’s amazing with all of the study given to it, we still know a relatively small amount about it. The human brain is complex and its vast like the ocean, another place that still holds many great secrets. We depend so much on our senses everyday that they serve as censors and all of it is run through our brains to make sense of the smells, the things that we touch and feel, and hearing and sight are huge, but they don’t always serve us well or give us an accurate picture of what is actually going on. It’s amazing, just sheer awesomeness how God put us together. There is some flower or plant, I’m not even sure what it is or what it’s called, but whenever I’m out in nature and smell it, it immediately transports me back to Ft. Benning in GA., some forty years ago. I know that I’m not in GA., or even on an Army post, but my sense of smell is tied to that.
- I’m a deeply damaged and flawed individual, so let’s look at how this plays out in other areas of my life. So many stories , trouble picking one to share☺️☺️. Ok, so let’s just call this one the ” rebound”☺️☺️. Many moons ago after the mother of my kids had I went our separate ways, I was raw. Twenty years of marriage, not all bad or even mostly bad, but the last few really withdrew any equity that had been saved up previously. Now!, I’m not here to throw my then wife under the bus, we both did our share of making sure that things wouldn’t see us until death do us part, even though there were probably night’s of going to bed, when you would wish for it sooner than later ☺️☺️. The point is that the lady that came behind her, paid for all of the sins of the previous administration. Sad but true. I wasn’t trusting or actually even emotionally available . I didn’t get that until of course there was just destruction and so much collateral damage. Well, !, how did this happen and take place? It was those senses that I rely on so heavily. Any time that I saw something even remotely close to what I had previously experienced, then it would trigger me. If I heard anything that sounded even vaguely close to what I had experienced, then it would trigger me. I was so broken from being constantly challenged with the kids, finances and anything else, it all was just a resounding alarm of disrespect. And here’s the kicker, that I probably shouldn’t share, but You know how they say we all have a type ☺️☺️. I didn’t see that either until after the fact. People would say that they looked similar, but I never saw it. I mean to me they were as different as day and night. A stay at home mom versus a career woman serving in upper management for a fortune five hundred corporation. She was really good to me, but I couldn’t see past the brokenness of my previous relationship. So every fiber of my being was telling me that I had seen this before, which kept me from healing and enjoying. I’m not special in this regard, this story could be a lot of people’s story. I can also tell you that I’ve been on the other side of the ledger as well. We want to hold on to our pain , because it serves as a reminder not to be stupid or gullible again. The problem is the thing that saves us can often be the very same thing that sinks us. This is just another example of not being able to get out of our own way. We keep the bad stuff in and the good and possibility of healing locked out. Oh! , I get it , it’s really hard to get past our PTSD. This is just one example of our senses not being our best friend. I know that I can’t always trust my eyes and my hearing is definitely on the fritz ☺️☺️.
- Let’s just flip it around just a little bit before I end this and you can say it for me or to me. Say what?? Oh Bless Your Heart! I have been talking about things that I’ve found out about myself later in life. These are not usually cute or pretty thing☺️☺️. It’s not like me showing off my gorgeous tan after being in the Caribbean for a couple of weeks ☺️☺️. I know that for a lot of older people, that they become less patient with age, but that’s not going to be me! Well, guess what? That is absolutely me, but I’m extremely selective about when I am. It’s almost always is with the people who I should have the most patience with . It’s when I encounter those people who are where I found myself all those many years ago, just broken, raw and super sensitive that every encounter will some how transport them back to a place of incredible pain and sorrow. It’s like I never even experienced it myself or know what it looks like. I can behave as if I don’t know what it’s like to not trust yourself, let alone other people, who want to kick down my carefully constructed barriers ☺️☺️. It can be so hard to give someone a fair shake, when your senses are telling you to run and to run like hell☺️☺️.
- I really hate admitting it, but when I’m that guy, I’m part of the problem and not part of the solution. I’m compounding the problem and telling them that I don’t care if they make it out of their den of mistrust or not. Just call me an straight up idiot.☺️ See here is part of my problem. The NFL draft is coming up soon and I have this thing about the eyeball test, sometimes things just don’t past the eyeball test, yes I’m talking about actual players, but when they don’t, I don’t cast my vote to draft them. Well….I just want people to be genuine. If you come across like Hercules and have the world on your shoulders like Atlas, then I’m probably just a little less likely to notice your brokenness. When this happens, I’m probably a little less likely to tread lightly and maybe a little bit more like a bull in a China shop….and we all know how that plays out ☺️☺️ . All I’m saying is, I can’t buy in and walk with You in your brokenness if you are always being cool as a cucumber and hiding behind a facade of everything is ok. Truth is , by all accounts, I’m probably one of the less sensitive people roaming the earth. I don’t get offended easily and I’ve already confessed to one of my favorite catch phrases being, ” it’s not my monkey “☺️☺️. Is some of this about keeping the spotlight off of some of my own disfunction?, probably more than I would care to admit.
- Speaking of compounding, all of this stands in stark contrast to who God calls me to be. Kind, compassionate, understanding, patent loving and giving, and merciful and to show grace, all of the things that He freely gives to me every day and I fail to pass on to others. He keeps hammering me with be quick to listen, slow to speak and even slower to get angry. As much as I fail at this , there is no wonder why I’m in the slow class and people say to me,” OH Bless Your Heart “☺️☺️
- Till Next Time ✌️ Peace!
- Sandy The Southerner
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