” Not Like That “

  • Not The Only One!
  • Post# 73
  • 06 Apr 23  
  •      ” Not Like That  “
  • Howdy!
  • Thanks again for  checking in. I had set down and was working on one called “CEO”, maybe I will get it out next time .  This one is  called  “not like that”, and it’s all about  going at it the wrong  way. Sometimes we find things or someone who works out for a season.  Sometimes  we  know that  going in, and  at other  times  it blindside us, much like  finding out  that  you have  been  selected for an IRS audit  of  your  taxes, what? ,wait  no! Your  kidding, right? ☺️So, Sometimes the  things that hit us out of nowhere are  accompanied with panic, anxiety,  and questions of , what the hell  did  I  do to deserve  that?. I’m not a karma guy, but sometimes  it is self inflicted and  yes, sometimes  we  receive  help from  others,  before  we  can  say no thank you,  I’m just  fine at making  my own  messes ☺️☺️. I  often  wish  that  when  we are getting  ready to  do something  on the not so smart side, that it would be clearly  marked,  like a sign on a one way street,  or even  better one of those red signs that says ” Do not enter “, or danger  a head.  And yes,  I know that  there is  a percentage of  us  who are always  willing   to roll the  dice and  take  our chances at whatever it  may  be.  It could  be  the person  who  thinks that  they  can  get across  the  tracks before the train comes,  maybe  they do, or may be they will  be front page news. ☺️I  said sometimes we find somethings that  works for a season.  I  think  back  to  when  my  son was much  younger and I  use to  take him to the driving range with me,  and he use to  tee off on a golf ball  like  it was a hockey  puck. If you have  ever  seen  that old Adam  Sandler’s movie ” Happy Gilmore “, it was much  like  that. I  told  him  as he got  bigger and  taller that it wouldn’t  work  so well  for him.  There is a discipline  mechanics to  a good golf swing,  and  sure enough as he got older, he discovered that  he   couldn’t  drive  the ball   as far as he did  when  he  was  both  younger and  smaller. That’s an illustration of ” Not That  Way” . There are  other  times  that  we find  something that  works for  us  the majority of the  time,  and  we  just  decide to  shrug our shoulders for the sometimes that we miss  on. This  one may  sound  a bit crazy  or off, but  as a general rule,  I  don’t  usually  follow  recipes.  I  really  don’t  have  a  good  reason  for  this,  but I  have   a rational  behind  my   thinking.  First up,  I’m from a large  family,  so  I  was raised with  my mom experimenting with  different things  to  stretch the meals  out and make  it  go further,  so you can  say that  it made an impression on me. My other thought is somewhat  prideful,  but I know what tastes good, or at least what  sounds  like it would be good,  so I  actually know  better than  the recipes.  I  have  had much success  doctoring  things up, and my few failures,  I  just  chalk up to a learning experience and  the next  time  try a little  of this, and not so much of that. ☺️I  keep  everything in my head,  so there is no great  family  recipe book to pass down  to  the  next  generation.  This is a odd funny one for you, so we sometimes  forget  about the  fact  that  our kids watch  us, more so than  listening to  us. My daughter  took  much the same  path as  her mother and  she decided that  she was going to  marry a man who would  cook for her, true story.  Ok, so my daughter,  the mother of  three boys, never  cooked,  or found  herself  in  the kitchen,  unless  it was to steal a  taste of something  or to peak over  her husband’s shoulder. So,  she found  herself  having  to  learn to  cook, , that’s  right,  you guessed it, when  Covid  hit☺️☺️. She has proven to be  a  quick  study and I have  come to  respect her culinary  skills,  but guess what?,  that’s right,  she doesn’t  follow  recipes  either ☺️☺️. It frustrates her  husband who is an avid rule  follower,  but he’s a  good  egg, and has learned to   adjust to the new normal,  just  like  all the rest of us. One final little  kicker  before  moving on,  for those of you who are wondering about  consistency with  meals,  basically  there is  none, we shoot  for delicious,  and  since  variety is  the  spice of  life, you get  just  that  variety,  with  variances of  a little  sweet,  a little  spicy,  a little  tart, a little  dry or moist,  but you get the  picture ☺️☺️. Let’s switch  gears, just  a little,  and look at when  ” Not That Way” , is an option,  but not usually the  best one. There are obvious lessons that  we just  know are wrong,  like what if you put on your  shoes  on first and  then  attempted  to  put your socks over  the  outside of  the  shoe, goofy,  right?? There have  been  other  things that  have  had an off putting effect, such as knowing  my ex wife’s love language, and refusing to  deliver on demand,  no, not one of my best moments,  but that  is where we found  ourselves.  I  wonder  if there has ever  just  been a  time in Your life,  where you  learned  something  incorrectly.  It could  be  how to tie a neck tie, there are roughly  thirteen  different  knots for  a  neck tie, so it could  be  easy  to  get  one a little  crazy. I mean  if you  know  one, run with  it. I  just  spoke  about  my take on recipes,  so did I  pick up a bad habit  from  my mother?, who knows! So, in the real world  there are things that  we can  absolutely one hundred percent of the time  be complicit in, but there are also  those things that we could be  a little  ignorant on, and just  not want to  admit it.  Years ago,  I had  a contemporary by the name  of  Artist , and he use to have  this saying about  bathroom  lawyers. He would  talk  about  his kids, but almost anyone’s  kids could and would  apply. He would  try to council  his son on some particular points in life , and  yet his years of living and wisdom  meant absolutely nothing  when  stacked up against one  of  his kids friends of the same  age. They  would  gather in the bathroom  at school,  and court would  be  in session,  and another  child  could  undo, and undermine any good parental training.  I  think  that  court room  session was called the blind  leading the  blind ☺️☺️. I  mean  if you are a responsible  parent,  there are  just  certain truths that  you  want  your  kids to get  the proper  understanding of . I  mean  think  about it , if  another  virgin, just  like  your kid, is all of sudden a PHD in all of the nuances of  sexuality.  This could be  the  kid telling  your kid that you can’t  get  pregnant your first time out… SURPRISE!!. , welcome to  parenthood. So , definitely, ” Not Like That ” There are just an endless supply of ” Not like that” , that we encounter  in  life, and whether it  is  something that  is a common  misconceptions,  something that  we learned incorrectly,  or something that we are just  completely clueless about,  there has to  be a better  way , instead of just a bunch of  trial and error.  I think back to how many  things that I find myself  saying  to  my kids, that once a long time ago, were taught to me by my parents.  It could  be  something  as simple  as  look both ways before  crossing the street,  or something a little  bit more  complex,  such as about  dating,  or what to look for in a job offer  before  signing  an offer letter.  No, matter,  there is just  something about  the wisdom of those  who  have  gone  before  us…..only  if  we would  pay attention, listen, but more  importantly execute. If I may, I would  like  to  draw a few comparisons to “Not Like  That “. I  believe that  every one  has been  gifted in some way,  sadly, many never  fully  recognize those gifts and  use them  to  their  full  potential.  I  say  that  because  some people’s  supreme gift is intelligence.  Two  blanket statements,  which  means there are exceptions.  Some of the most  highly  intelligent people,  do some of the most not  so smart things, yes dumb things . Secondly,  some people are just  to smart for their  own  good.  Now, on the surface,  that may sound  like  an oxymoron,  but we have  all met people  who just  can’t  get out of their own way. This brings us  to  a crucial point that  much  of  what follows  hinges on. There is a difference  between  knowledge or intelligence and  wisdom,  can  we agree  on that? Knowledge  is the knowing of something and wisdom is the ability to  be able to  put it into  practice, or apply it to your life.  Knowledge  says that cigarette smoking  causes  cancer,  wisdom is the ability to  quit or not do that. Knowledge  says that seat belts saves lives,  wisdom is to click it when  you get  into  an automobile.  Knowledge  says that  you shouldn’t  talk behind  someone’s  back, and  wisdom  tells  you  that  it will  separate  close  friends.  One more  before lighting  the fire and fanning the flames.  Knowledge tells  us that we shouldn’t  get caught at anything that we know  is not above board, or a little  bit  shady, and  wisdom  yells , don’t  do the crime, if you aren’t  prepared to do the time. These are  in no particular order,  just  as they  pop into  my head. First  one  up is “forgiveness ” . We have  all been  wronged at some  point in life, and we have  all been  on the other  side  of  that equation as well. I  will  be  the first  to  admit that  this  is  something  much  easier said than  done. I  also  want to  say that  forgiveness is  not a one time  event,  but more so a process,  depending on  what has been  done to you.  You may  be  gracious and  forgive  someone,  and then a little bit  down  the road, something  may trigger that event again in  your head , and you  will have  to  forgive that person all over again,  so it can  very  much be a  process. Knowledge  will  tell  you that you  have the right to  hold a grudge, depending on  what it is,  that  may be backed up by a jury or a judge . Wisdom  says  to  forgive and let it go, because  if you don’t,  it has the potential to  consume you and to make  You a bitter and angry  person.  I  have  made mention  before about  letting  people  living  rent free in your head. Sometimes people  are  even  unaware that they have  somehow  offended you or  hurt your feelings. I  had a friend  many years ago,  who’s mother was killed  in armed robbery of a convenience store. The suspect was  high on drugs,  not condoning,  but painting a picture, however,  over the next forty years,  every time there was a parole hearing,  she would drive or travel  some twelve hundred miles to voice her concerns about that person  being released.  And, yes, it consumed her and made her bitter, and  even  gave  her  a  jaded perspective against a whole race of people.  So, in addition to  bitter and  angry,  probably  a little  confused as well if you think that you can  judge a whole  race of people,  based on  one non functioning individual. I’m  not  going  to  leave you there, we have  witnessed the  other  side as well.  I  think  back  to  a few years ago, when  the police  busted into the  wrong  house and shot and killed an innocent  person.  I  saw family  members,  make open statements of forgiveness and  went one further and  ask the courts  to show  leniency , when  it came to  sentencing of the officers,  who made  such a  dire  mistake.  We ask ourselves, how do they  do that,? and  then  we may  pronounce that I  could  never  do that, or perhaps I wish that I  could,  and I  think that none of us may really  know until we  find  ourselves  in that situation or something  similar.   There  was an illustration in  the  Bible  of Peter asking  Jesus,  how many  times  he was supposed to  forgive  someone  who had sinned against  him.   He thought  that  he  was  being super   gracious  by suggesting  seven times seven, and then Jesus  correct  his thinking to a much larger number,  to apply  there is no end  to the number  of times  that you forgive  someone,  and  He has made His point  by all of the times  that  He has forgiven  us over and over again. If you are confessing  believer  and you are struggling with  forgiveness,  there is a clear  possibility that you completely  missed the  point of the Cross. I  realize  that heinous  things take  place  in  our lives,  sexual  abuse,  bad marriages, wayward  children and  the list goes on and on, but  there is such  freedom  in  not carrying all of that junk around with  you.  Perhaps  you view it as your cross to bare, or perhaps  not so much! I  think  that  the  next one is a little  connected,  and that is  to love your  enemies,  and  most  of  would  probably  think  how ridiculous,  I don’t  have  enemies,  perhaps  not, but we all know  those people  who  are  just a  little  to  abrasive or some what  like a porcupine☺️.  We may  not designate them  as an enemy,  but we aren’t  to fond of them, and I’m sure as heck,  not going  out of my way for them. See this  is where  many of  us  want  to  apply  ” the golden  rule”.  Do unto others as you would  have  them do unto  you,  or treat  people the way that You  want to  be treated. We tell ourselves that  I stay out  of  their  way,  and  that means  that  they  need  to  back the  hell  up and stay out of my way. Don’t  leave  me hanging  here, you know  those  people  who you give the polite  smile  to,  but yep, then talk  about  them  behind  their  backs, and I  think  that  we already  covered  that one☺️. God has an upside  down  Kingdom,  and almost  every  point  in  life  , we are a one eighty away  from  his kingdom.  So , when  we  say treat others the way we want to  be  treated,  we pick and choose each person  based on  how we feel  about them,  so if I stay clear of them,  then  they  should return the favor.  God says to just  love people and to love them as You would  yourself,  so unless you  are  having  some kind of weird   out of body experience,  you can’t  stay clear of yourself….can we ? Here is another one for you. Knowledge  tells  you  that  no one has a right to  disrespect you, and wisdom  tells you  that a soft answer  turns  away  wrath. I  always  think  about  those  instances of  road rage. Someone  cuts you off in traffic,  somebody else  flips someone  the bird, and it just  escalates  from  there, next thing  you know  horns are blowing and cuss words are flying,  and  there  have  been  cases that have  led to assaults on to someone’s person. What if we just  chose to give a soft answer,  such as I’m sorry and choose to  de escalate the situation,  instead of  taking it to the next  level,  maybe  arrive home or to your destination in one piece opposed to  something  that  may require  law enforcement intervention.   In fact wisdom has a slew of practical life lessons,  if we will just  pay attention.  Here’s another  one for you,  knowledge will tell  you  that you can  afford that nice brand new car, with  payments  that use  to be capped at sixty months are now being  financed for eighty-four months or longer, who does that? Wisdom  says  maybe  drive a  hoopty for a while and  save up to buy a  nicer car. Wisdom  actually  says  that  the borrower is a  slave to the  lender and  if you don’t  believe that  , just  watch  how fast  that  eagle on the American  dollar  can  fly   away☺️☺️. I’m not here to be your  credit  counselor,  but  I  know  how easy  it is to get over extended,  and to loose our way.  Over two thousand years ago,  there was a carpenter  from Galilee and  he was itinerary preacher , and  if I asked You  what  He  preached on more than  anything  else, you would  probably  guess, forgiveness,  turn  from  your sins, or even  that the kingdom of  God has arrived, while all those things are true,  but  you would  be  incorrect,  more than  anything  else He taught and talked about  money, it was overwhelming,  like  almost  ten  times as much  as  anything  else.  This is  where I get  to hear from  the cynics about  churches wanting  your money,  nope, and wrong again!   Jesus  knew how divisive money can  be and  it can  encourage us to make  a bunch of  bad decisions.   Has there ever been  a  more true statement  than we can’t  serve two masters?.  Hear my heart ,money is a mute point,  it’s about how you choose to  interact with it that makes all the difference in the world. If you were a butt hole, before  you came into  some  funds, it just  means that  you  will  be a bigger  one with  more  money,  it has the potential to  amplify the kind of person that you are, so if you were generous before then ,  you  will  probably  be  more  generous after  coming into some money. I  need  to wrap  this up and  I know  that  the last  thing  I talked about  can  be  very  continuous,  but  I  dare say, that  I  believe  very  few of us handle  money  from  a God’s  perspective.  You can  take  this  next thing  and consider it  bonus  material,  but about  ten  years  ago, I was introduced to  something  called  FPU, ” Financial peace university “, it a course, from  a  financial expert  named  Dave Ramsey,  the course blew my mind and was very  eye opening.  I  believed  in it so much  that I  paid both my kids a thousand  dollars  just  to  take the class.  There are literally hundreds of  more little  life lessons  that wisdom  would  win out over intelligence or knowledge.  I  only  touched on  a few and there is always  or at least  should  be  some take away or an Aha moment.  I  touched on  God’s upside  down  Kingdom without  really  getting  into it,   but its all so counter cultural that most  people  just  miss  out  on  it all together.  He who wants to be first, must be last. He who wants to  be the greatest, must be the least.  The  mark of a great person  is  someone  comes to serve and not be served.  And of course the signature statement,  he who tries  to hold on to his life will  loose it, and he who gives up his life  for Christ sake will  find it. They may sound  like  riddles  on the surface,  but it is the gateway to  a changed  life.  Most things  in life are built  on  some kind  of  a  foundation,  and  that can be an organization,  a marriage,  to a boys scout troop. The  foundation  will  determine  a great  many  things,  and hopefully  most of  them  will  point  to  success  of some sort.  That being  said,  take your  knowledge and  wisdom and remember  that all of this begins  with  a  healthy  fear of the Lord. The  fear of the  Lord  is  the  beginning  of  wisdom,  as in it all comes from  Him and that  goes for your  intelligence as well . 
  • Till Next Time ✌️ Peace!
  • Sandy The Southerner
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