- Not The Only One!
- Post #166
- 06 Dec 24
- ” It’s A Flip”
- Howdy,
- Thanks again for being there. We are just going to call this bonus material, bonus content☺️☺️. I was thinking about my flawed existence, and then it occurred to me that it’s our shared flawed existence ☺️☺️. I’m just going to pony up and say that this applies to me just as much as anyone else. I will sometimes have people call me nice or say that I’m a nice person. Depending on who and where, I will usually correct them and tell them that I’m not a nice person, but I do know how to be nice. This isn’t even about the fact that nice guys finish last. ☺️☺️. I called this one ” It’s A Flip” and it has everything to do with our inconsistent behavior. It’s probably a little bit sad that so much of our lives can actually be determined by a coin flip. I’m not saying that we don’t have important and crucial things that need to be decided, but they are mostly obscure, or not as frequent. Yeah, I’m not leaving the amount that I choose for a deductible on my home owners policy to chance. That’s one that I’m going to weigh my options on. When it comes to this or that for dinner, I mostly don’t care , as long as my stomach isn’t complaining ☺️☺️.
- Let’s dig in or venture on a little bit further before I turn this one on its head☺️☺️. I think that most of us most of the time want to fit in. If we don’t relate or are uncomfortable with our current collection of peeps, we usually just go out and get new ones. The truth is that we most often hang out with people who are very similar to ourselves. They do the same kind of work, like the same kind of music. The same sports and hobbies, but it really all comes together when we have similar beliefs systems. That’s the power base, a common or closely related thought process. Yeah!, we have those chameleons out there that just kind of go with the flow, but we mostly see that from our politicians ☺️☺️. We are guilty of it ourselves a lot more than we would care to admit. Let’s just take fashion and trends for example. I have talked about influencers before, and they have that name for a reason and make a lot of money doing that. In fact some of them are well known celebrities and that’s the only thing that they are known for. No movies, no books written, no academic or athletic achievement, just influencing others with products and different gadgets, and a few great restaurants. Perhaps some of it goes to motivation and we can be all over the place with that one. Things that some may care about deeply, wouldn’t even register on someone’s else’s radar. I do believe that the opposite is true as well and we can care to deeply about what others think about us. I will say this. It’s is one of the great benefits of being and getting older, you just don’t care as much. ☺️☺️. Maybe it’s the realization of how trivial so much of what people think about us actually is.
- Ok, I guess what I’m leaning towards is people pleasing. I’m not talking about if you are a child and are trying to be somehow obedient to your parents. That’s actually not people pleasing, but honoring your parents which we are called to do. There is this thing called peer pressure and it’s a very real thing. It plays out in some of the craziest ways. I think maybe for some of us it looks something like a teenager being forced or pressured to drink, smoke or do drugs. If you have ever under any kind of circumstances fallen prey to keeping up with the Jones, that is a form of unspoken peer pressure. We have to be successful and accomplished. I get all the more tickled when I see the great links some will go through to express their individuality, with tattoos , piercings, hair colors and cuts. People are even investing in expensive surgeries to change their eye color and Lords knows that there is no end to the plastic surgery options. We are all duplicating or emulating some thing that we have seen else where and said to ourselves, ” I think that would look good or work for me” . Absolutely nothing wrong with that. However we need to concede that it’s mostly a monkey see, monkey do mentality. As Solomon said so eloquently, nothing new under the sun.😀☺️
- I’m afraid that we often lure ourselves to what we think would be aesthetically pleasing to others. We present what we think others may like about us. If you don’t believe that is so, just read a few dating profiles and see how many women are presenting themselves as the sports person of the year. ☺️☺️. It would be easy to conceive that women are outside ninety percent of their lives and are out hunting deer and trapping other wild game.☺️☺️. I get it , it’s a competition and at the later end of the story, there are just fewer viable options, and you really need to stand out and be set apart….stick a pin in that for now.
- I think that there is and that we want there to be some middle ground. I mean that we are all mostly familiar with wanting to make a good or great first impression , and that whole thing about putting your best foot forward. When do we cross that line , of trying to be someone that we are not, and maybe never hoped to be? I have mentioned before about a lady that I met through a church ministry that lost everything, because she was trying to impress a man that led her down the road of drugs and addiction. Maybe that’s to hard or clear of a case that shows the realities of the crushing behavior to fit in and to belong. Make no mistake about it, the pressure can be crushing
- I have on numerous occasions mentioned about how comfortable that I can be in my own skin. That is absolutely true, but I also believe that there should be times when that is the furthest thing from the truth. I think there are times when I should or we should be sensitive in our nature towards other people when it’s comes to setting them back in their journey. What does that look like? Well, I shouldn’t be offering a drink to a recovering alcoholic. I should limit my freedom to have a drink, to be and encouragement to them . Any time there is a known trauma, be it daddy issues or any kind of abuse, I think that we need to reign in that whole thing about being comfortable in our own skin. I believe that we should have some etiquette and some ethics as well. One of my big pet peeves is people who use foul language out in public and especially around young children. They carry on as if everyone communicates in four letter words.☺️☺️. I just want to say insensitive! , but there is so much more I want to say, but not now.
- Here is another aspect of the whole people pleasing thing and that is self improvement. I believe in it and I’m all for it. I just believe that it should be done for the right reasons and in a healthy way. First up , you need to do it for yourself. Self improvement shouldn’t be done to make someone else happy and content. I get that there can be extenuating circumstances when it comes to health. I believe that we have to try our best to love people for who they are and not so much for who we want them to be. I can tell you from experience, that one rarely works out. Some may say, quick smoking at all cost, but it can lead to resentment down the road if it’s under duress and pressure. So make it a priority for yourself, same is true for weight loss or a pair of bigger boob’s, or even returning to school….do it for yourself first and foremost.
- I don’t think that many of us want to think of ourselves as ” Iffey ” . Sometimes we will make a good choice and other times not so much.! Earlier I said stick a pin in it and made some vague promise about turning things on its head☺️☺️. So here we go. Are we trying to please people or should we be trying to please God? Just let it sit for a minute…. We live in a very real world, with daily pressures to conform. We have expectations thrust upon us from work and family and other social commitments, which seem so pressing as if they are standing at the door, arms folded and foot just patting the floor ☺️☺️ . I fear for many of us that its a real possibility to go through the entire day without giving God a single thought. We don’t wake up with praise for Him , but a rush to social media, coffee, and then out the door we go. Our Oh! God moments come later when there is some crisis. A flat tire on the way to work….Oh God! Unprepared for the board meeting or that presentation at work….Oh God! Sick child at school and needs to be picked up….Oh God! In our busy and hurried lives, I think that we have turned God into some kind of pocket genie☺️☺️ . In this* expose of all that has been put forth, where does God fit in or factor in , or however you want to put it. Do we think more about and more highly about what other people think about us than what God thinks about us? Maybe or perhaps it just me and more of my twisted thinking, but if I have this just right…..God , the author and giver of life, we don’t have time for, but all of the things that just completely and utterly sucks the life out of us, we rush and run to make extra time for. Do I have that one correct? Sounds like the closing arguments in a criminal defense case☺️☺️ .I just have to believe that if we believed the things that God says about us, a lot of this other people pleasing stuff would just evaporate and disappear. If we believed that He loves us passionately as He does, just maybe much of the need to be unique , seen and set a part, wouldn’t be necessary. God sees you and believes that you are the pinnacle of all that He has created and already thinks of you as all of that and so much more.
- Before you think that I’m about to start casting stones , I’m already on the record as not being immune to this, definitely not completely. I have to believe that if we feared God , as in reverence and not being scared out of our wits, ☺️☺️that often our choices would look differently. As to how different, I think it goes back to our walk again. I know that much of what was mentioned earlier, would seem insignificant and in some cases impractical. God’s ways are way higher than ours and I think often there is missed out on heart pain by doing things God’s way, than whatever we feel like. It’s almost like getting a bonus for following the path that He has laid out for us instead of being that trail blazer, trying a little bit of everything before we figure out that it just doesn’t matter or satisfies.
- Many of you who have been around for while , know that I try to keep from being to ” churchy” or being accused of trying to make disciples , so I rarely quote directly from scripture, but that is where much of this comes from either directly or indirectly. Today I’m going to break that rule. I think that it’s important that from time to time that we examine ourselves in our walk with God and scripture encourages that as well. Sometimes we become so bombard with this life, that we loose focus of what awaits us in the future. If that’s not bad enough, sometimes we become like the Pharisees and we get caught up on the hand washing ritual , and we miss the deeper meaning or , sometimes we get so far off course that what we are doing or believing has no meaning to it at all. Instead of being spiritual and connected to God, we begin to fake it and head down a road of self righteousness. It’s easy to do. It’s a slippery slope that often shows up as legalism. We have the letter of the law and completely miss the spirit of the law and we forget that one leads to life and the other to death.
- I wish that I could tell you that I live for Jesus 24/ 7, and that would be a complete and big fat falsehood ☺️☺️. Honestly I get caught up in self. That’s most of ours default setting. I asked the question today, who is more important in our lives, which can also be asked, who are we living for? No, none of us are perfect and it’s just so dog on easy to get tangible up in the people pleasing thing, in fact that can be another default setting. Last time out, I posed the question of what does it mean to be Catholic or any other religious designation and in my weird brain I’m going to tie these two together today, or at least give it a shot. As always when I give a scripture reference, I encourage you to read it for yourself, but not just read it, dig into it, meditate on it, and by all means ponder over it. We are going to the last verse of Roman’s, chapter two. Verse 29 in my book☺️.
- The verse starts off with what it means to be a true Jew, and for our purposes, you can just drop any other denomination or religion right there where it say Jew. So catholic, Baptist, you name it. It makes it clear that it’s not about a birth right or performing some ceremony or ritual. It’s about having a heart that is right with God. It’s not by trying to keep the law, which many think is just being a good and moral person, nope! It’s by a heart change that has been produced by the spirit of God. A heart like that, which has been transformed by the power of God, seeks praise from God and not man. It can be so hard to escape the trappings of man. The apostles asked one of the most poignant questions of all times when in the face of adversity and maybe we should ask this question of ourselves. Do you think that God would prefer us to obey men over Himself? Again just bonus content.
- Till Next Time ✌️ Peace!
- Sandy The Southerner
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