“How Did We Get It So Wrong?”

• Not The Only One! 
• Post #167
• 12  Dec 24     
•              ” How Did We Get It So Wrong “
• Howdy,
• Thanks for checking in again. If you have  reached*  puberty and  are at least to your teenage years then you know that  making  mistakes is just part of life and the human  experience . The one thing that you may not be aware of,  is that as we  grow, our blunders  can grow in   complexity with  us ☺️☺️. Depending on the who , the when, the where, and the what, these can range from a minor ops to something  colossal in  size and scope ☺️  . We are human, so we are capable of learning , adapting and  growing, which would  lead us to believe that sometimes we would  or should  just  see certain  things coming, but not so much ! ☺️☺️. I think in my own story, the thing that  just  crumbles my cookie more than  anything  else is that , how I find  myself  some place  that  I’ve been  before and  had no real  desire to  return  there☺️.
• It’s not that I’m super dense, well, depending  on who you ask☺️☺️. It’s that it has some slightly  different  facet, that makes it look different and  brings  with  it , that marvelous  expectation , of somehow  this is different.  It’s almost  like  being  a quarterback and  throwing an interception. Somewhere  in the very  near future, you are going to  have to block it out of your head and  go back out and line up again  under center☺️. Yeah!, yeah!, I can’t  say that you are lying  to yourself when  you  say that it wasn’t  your best effort, that may or may not be true, but I  think   it’s Somewhere  in  the  middle  of ,  or near the end, that you become  aware of there being  somethings that you could  have  done differently or would  handle in a different  way or  manner   Here is the great news.  It’s almost  ninety  percent sure that you will  not be able  to  take corrective action and save the day, which  is  usually  some relationship that is on life support ☺️☺️. Yea, that’s one of those bad  ha ha chuckle things. I want to  encourage you  and tell  you  not to beat yourself up to bad, because  it always  takes two. Two to make it work and two to make it look like an absolute war zone. ☺️
• We often  get  things  wrong in life . Sometimes it’s just  a lack of experience or know how. We can just  point  to the countless  failed businesses and start ups each year. As they  say  you didn’t  actually  fail, you just  discovered  one option  that wasn’t  going to  produce  success.☺️  There are those times that we are just  to short sighted or lack vision.  I remember selling  real estate and  people  missing out on a diamond  In the rough because they  got  caught  up on aesthetics   like carpet and paint, things that could  easily  be changed, and  to flip that roughness  into a  more exquisite diamond ☺️☺️. Sometimes  life can  just  be a little  bit  more  direct at letting  us know that  we got it wrong by rubbing  our nose in it. Remember that  geeky guy , back in high school who was just  crazy about you, and you just  couldn’t  bring yourself to  giving  him the time of day, because  he just  wasn’t  worthy enough, for so many reasons, but mostly  because you had a reputation to maintain. ☺️☺️ Well  the ten year class reunion  rolled  around and I guess he had Lasik surgery, the acne cleared up and  his body caught up  to that huge head of his, and now he looks like he has a trophy wife to go with  his  trophy body, and him selling  his tech start up for  millions, is just  cruel and I really didn’t  need to know all of  that. ☺️ I’m not a gold digger, but yeah, I feel  like I  missed out on an opportunity.☺️ I make up things  in my head to convince  myself  that  we would  never have  worked  out because  of this or that, and I  just so so so want them all to be true! Got that one so wrong.! ☺️☺️
• I have  just about  all my life as far as I  can remember ,  have  been  a quality guy over quantity person, maybe   the exception  being  sex☺️☺️, but that is also  in the quality  realm now .☺️☺️If you place two random  products  in front of  me very  anonymously, I  can  promise you that  I’m probably  going to  gravitate to  the higher quality one, which  is  usually the more expensive  one. Look up Rolls -Royce, living on a Chevrolet budget and  there  will  be a picture  of  me☺️☺️. The story  of getting  it so wrong  plays out by taking  the  the cheaper option   of  whatever  it is, insurance, a contractor, a used or less expensive  automobile , clothing and  the list is just  extensive. The sole purpose  behind  choosing  less was to save money, but in actuality,  actually  ended up costing you more money  in the long run. It didn’t  last as long, wore out sooner than  expected, and the contractor  took short cuts , which  were devastating to the project and has just been a tremendous  head ache. If I have to replace it  three times, then now it’s more expensive  than  if I  had just  taken the more expensive  option  in the first  place.  No bang for the buck and the money that I thought I was saving  actually  turned  into  a  money pit and ended up costing more than  expected  or planned.  The funniest  ones are always  the husbands  biting off  more than  they  can  chew, trying to beat or meet their  wives expectations.☺️  Man !, it’s sure is a good  thing that she loves you and  this is just  one more thing that your marriage  has to endure  ☺️☺️. Next time  out, definitely  leaving it  to a professional, those online  videos  just  make it look like  anyone can  do it☺️☺️. I guess that’s anyone   but me☺️.
• Have you  ever damaged  someone’s  character by making  an assumption. ? Someone  has misplaced  something and they are absolutely three thousand  percent  sure that they  left it somewhere and someone else  in the near by vicinity must have taken  it, or “””accidentally ” picked it up. We don’t  need evidence to disparage someone’s  reputation, that’s just  so old fashioned☺️.  Let’s just  start slinging around the  accusations and seeding  doubts. We are so heavily  invested on  the bandwagon of dragging  someone’s  name through the  mud , that by the time that whatever it was show up at a different  location ? that the three thousand and one percent  couldn’t  account for, that the crow eating, * self loathing, tale between your legs would be a long long time leaving your face☺️☺️.
• There is love gone  wrong and  most of us have seen  or experienced that one time or the other, but what about  when love kind of goes wrong.  What about a husband being suspicious and sneaking around.  He’s always been  a straight up  guy, but something  has changed these last few months.  At first it was kind of innocuous . It seems  that he was hanging  out with  his guy friends just a little bit  more than  usual. I called his job to ask  him to pick something up  on the way home and  he had left early. I didn’t  feel that there was any reason to  sound  the alarm after  all he wasn’t  coming  in late, and  none  of the usual  tale tales, such  as lipstick on the collar or the smell  of a woman’s perfume on him. I mean  when  we were  sitting on  the couch  watching  TV, no strange vibes or changes  to  our cuddle pattern☺️,but I just  felt  that something was off. Then  it happened, I  caught  him in a lie. He told me that  he was going to  a ball game  with  one of his buddies and  I just  happened to  run into  him and his wife at the market.  My  female” Spidey”  senses  went off, ☺️but I played it cool, just  incase his friend  Jeff was somehow  involved in the cover up. When  he got home that night, I asked him how the game was and confirmed  that it was Jeff that had gone to the game with him. I can’t  ever remember  him just  out right  lying to  my face before, but I guess that there is a first  time  for everything.  Me being  me, I turned this on myself  and was wondering if I  had somehow  been  neglectful in my duties as a wife or some how  turned  him away or been unapproachable.   I was puzzled, perplexed, but  by now, mostly  just  getting  mad and angry.  I wasn’t  sure if or how to confront  him, but I didn’t  sleep  a  wink  all night as my brain  was just  playing  out endless possibilities.  Another  week  went  by and I just  couldn’t take it any longer .  One night as he was making another  excuse  to get  out of the house, I just  exploded on him , with  the screaming  and  of course the tears. Tell  me what’s going on, I just  have  to  know.  I know that  You  lied to me about  Jeff and  the game.  I need and deserve to know  what’s wrong and what is going on!  I was so visibly upset that I think that  it just  scared him to death. He has this go to move, when  he messes something up and  it’s him putting  my face In his hands and  a deep,  dead eye to eye lock. He went  there as tears are pouring down my face and he started with, I’m sorry. Nothing  good could  come after that, but he said I’m sorry again, and this time it was accompanied with I didn’t  mean  to hurt you or to lie to you, and  before  he could  get  another  word  out. I asked  him, so why did you do it?  He confessed to me that he had been  sneaking out to take dance lessons  to surprise  me for our twenty-fifty wedding  anniversary, which I  had completely  forgotten about  because  my focus  had become about  a  perceived  violation of  trust.  He took me by the hand and took me to his dance lesson  with  him. I was surprised, impressed and  felt very  foolish.   Things aren’t  always  what they  appear to be. I just  got that so very  wrong.
•   I think that we  have  been  down  the road before about  us getting  it just  so very  wrong as a Nation.  We can  point  our fingers  at the black eye of slavery and the all of the *atrocities committed  against  black people  in this country, and we can’t  even  say that  it was a  one off. We as a Nation did the same thing  to native Americans and  as I  pen this , it is the eighty- third  commemoration of Pearl  Harbor, which  saw us repeat the same horrible  mistakes with  Asian Americans as we put them  into internment camps out of fear. Talk  about  not learning  from  past mistakes. We got that one all wrong.  I will often  jest about  misery loving  company and  we have  taken  that same tremendously corrupt  footprint and  exported it around the  globe.  Time and time again  making  things  worst and not better with our *unequivocally selfish  motives.  I’m not going to  dig into  our international history but  it’s just  as equal of a black eye as the other.  Perhaps  it’s somehow  worse because we are poking our nose and asserting our will  on often  unsuspecting people, but aren’t  they all🥲🥲
• Sometimes  there is something  supreme, something that is so paramount, that it just  changes  everything and in the process causes a paradigm shift takes .  It’s the one thing that we all have gotten  wrong at one time or the other.  It is keenly set in* parathesis , with  just  one question, and that question  is ” Who Am I “. This is the part that presents that twist that we didn’t  see coming, so it * obscures our vision and  perspective.  See, yes it’s our story, but it’s not about us.  Wait!!, how can that be? It makes absolutely  no sense  what’s so ever and it’s absolutely true!. Something so fundamental and yet so often  missed. We think that because it’s our story that we are the main character, but we are not. The understanding that we are, leads many to struggle with just that one question, who am I? They  spend a lifetime  of wondering why  they are  here, what is their  purpose and  the meaning of this jet sweep, that we call life.☺️
• So many times in life things can  become complicated or difficult to  follow, such as me for example ☺️☺️. However, that’s not God’s approach. On the most elementary  level  that we all can understand, God wants to take our bad stuff  and  exchange  it for His  good stuff.  Sure there are mysteries and  things  beyond our comprehension, but that is why it’s called  faith ☺️. I reflect on  some of my evangelism training and I  know that we can  wrestle with  arguments about  this  and that, but God’s ways are so much simpler and  it comes down to  one thing, can  you  trust Him with your  heart.? That’s  all He wants from  you.  It’s not your time, your money, your gifts,  talents and intellect, just that one thing, your heart.  See, where your heart is all of those other  things will follow.  If you are a football  fan, then  you make  time in your schedule to watch games. You may even  set up some incredible  feast to go along with  game time. You may spend  many  dollars to attend a game or even to buy  sports jerseys or memorabilia.  Are you making the connection as to how one follows the other?☺️
• We get  it so terribly wrong  when  we think  that it’s about  us and that God  needs to prove  Himself to  us. I would  make the argument that because  you are breathing air this very moment, that God has made His case☺️. Often we will  have  deeply  held beliefs and  sadly  , sometimes those deeply  held beliefs are  wrong or incorrect.  I know that just  for myself that I had  misconceptions and wrong views when  it came to believing about  who I  thought that God is and was. Same God, unchanging.  We are the ones in a constant state of flux.  We tell ourselves that we are to broken, or to messed up for God to ever want us or to love us. God says just the opposite of  that , but we want to believe  the lies, that keep  us from  trusting  Him .Walking with God is so much  more than an intellectual choice, it’s a total heart move that engages all of those other  thoughts  and  emotions.  You can’t  get  there without giving  your  heart. When we make it about  us, we miss  all that God has already  done on our behalf.  We strive ever so hard trying to  earn God’s favor through our  good works and deeds, which  just  don’t  even  come close.
• Things get  crazy, and when  they  do, I think a lot of the  time that gets us into  trouble, or acts as a stumbling  block of sorts. Here is the crazy  part. We all know  who we are, even  when  we do our best to disguise who we are. It’s like putting  perfume or cologne on a stinky body, yuck!!, what a stench.☺️☺️. What I am saying  is that we all have  those shameful  moments  and  things that we have  done , that we are absolutely  not proud of, unless you are a psychopath.☺️☺️. The crazy  part is , God wants all of those things and He wants to exchange them  for His grace.  We all have  a leaning.  It’s easy to say, yeah!, that’s because you choose to believe In an invisible God.  God is invisible, with  very  tangible aspects.  Some also  lean into there is no God, and it’s all to often  because we think the story is about us and we want that control to make decisions and  choices, that if we are honest, just hasn’t  worked out for us so  well.☺️ Yet we still choose to go on that path, secretly and  desperately denying the one  thing  that you spend  your time searching for.  It’s a God size hole, and a new boat, car, or the next great adventure is never going to  satisfy  or keep you from  spinning  your wheels.
• We want God on our terms, its like Burger King and  we want to have it our way, hold the onions ☺️☺️. Well!, you are partially   right, a KING is involved, and He is the architect  of the story, both yours and mine. We want the blessings  without  that dirty word….obedience!  We want to lead without  first  knowing  how to follow.  We want what would  satisfy  our very souls and look for it everywhere, except  for  with  God. We want the good life without  any suffering.  Well just good  luck with the  last one because  we all loose loved ones and  experience some suffering. It’s both scary and a little ludicrous, that our concept of  God , bends to our will.  That’s about as genuine as some of those post on social  media ☺️☺️. I hate to be the barer of bad  news , but that’s not  God, but a figment of  your imagination.  Let me see if I  have this one right!  The God of the universe, the creator of  all things, fits nice and neatly  into a  box for you?😂🤣😅 . Yeah Right!!
• Still , it’s just  somehow,   somewhere seems,  so much more of a tragedy on the personal level, when  we get  that one wrong.  Knowledge  can protect us from deception, but not if we openly want  to deceive ourselves  into  believing  that there is no God . We don’t  like  to think  of things as in terms of being   life threatening, but they can be , and come into  play as well. It can  be a form of double  jeopardy  to miss out  on a joyous and quality   life on both  sides of eternity  .Don’t  let your drive for autonomy from God lead you into getting  the biggest  thing  in life, so very, very wrong!
• Till Next Time ✌️Peace!
• Sandy The Southerner

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