“CHEATERS”

• Not The Only One!
• 23 Jan 25
• Post# 176   
•                ” Cheaters “
• Howdy!
• Hey, welcome aboard one more. I’m going to apologize in advance for any negative  feelings that I  may  dredge up today, or for tipping you in the direction of  something  that may bring up some not so happy  times.  I don’t  know if it’s funny  or just  ironic that one single word  immediately has our minds  running towards  some kind  of infidelity.  There always has been and always  will be some segment of the  population  having  trouble  with  keeping it  in their  pants or skirt, yes women  cheat too, but now, somehow  it’s  fashionable for  men to wear skirts☺️☺️, not going  there today…  nope! Lets just  step away from  the table for a second and  go in another  direction.
• Let me introduce you to  my seven  years old grandson, Tyler. He is highly  competitive and  very  much a sore looser.☺️ There is this saying in sports and gaming and  it goes something like , “if you aren’t  cheating, then you ain’t  trying”.  I think that  it speaks for itself , and while  this saying has been around  much longer than  my seven year old grandson, he lives by it as if he was the first to come up with  it☺️☺️. He was once out of town  with  his folks for a funeral and  he missed the  very  first two games of his basketball season and  when  he got back  in  town  and showed up  for game number  three, his first words out of his mouth to his coach was….”I didn’t  come here to loose”….I know right! ☺️☺️. Well!, thank God that he is only  seven  and  that his parents still  have more time to help develop his character and  to teach him how to be a better sport.
• Often in life we will  see these patterns in kids and  no one takes corrective action or intervene , and we  wonder if  this was a jumping off moment or the beginning of  something that was  not going to pan out for them  down the  road. Our brains may run to some kind of infidelity, but there are just  so many  more things  to cheat about and a broad range of  motivations and ways to accomplish said desires.
• Desires  may seem like a strange word to use for someone  who cheats on their  taxes or in business, but it is very  much  so a craving to  scoot around whatever the set parameters may be. What is that one thing that  makes us believe that  we are the most special, so somehow exempt  from  playing by the rules, or just  slightly  above the  law? I mean if we are still  looking at  and considering the  confines of personal relationships, then we can’t  count out lust. People will  sometimes  say that  someone got caught up in  something, but they  just  won’t  complete the  sentence and say that they were caught up in  lust. ☺️☺️It would be  completely ridiculous to  say that lust was the root cause for someone  cheating in a relationship.  Actually data points more commonly to things as not being  seen, heard or appreciated.  There is usually only  so much taken for granted  before  it has some kind of  negative response. If you have been with me for a while  then  you  have heard me talk about the “silly cycle ” before.  It’s  where both  partners with hold the number one  need that their  partner  needs to survive in a relationship and  for a man that is respect and for a woman, it’s love. 
• In this day and age with  people’s  lack of commitment to almost anything.  We change jobs every  three to five years, and that’s for professionals. None professionals, the time frame can be the drop of a hat☺️☺️. When  we talk about commitment in relationships, we see young people  in no rush to settle down  and start families.  I think  as we have  become  so much  more none committal, that people don’t  know  what  a real commitment  looks like or how to go about  putting  someone else before  themselves.  I don’t know  if that’s entirely true about  not being to recognize it, because  we look at sometimes  parents or other  older  couples who have  put in the work, and when  we see them  out, it brings a smile to  our faces and a warmth to  our otherwise   cold hearts, and the pizza hut’s AHHH!☺️☺️ We never consider that we  could  be those people if we weren’t  so on point about  everything or most things having to  be our way. Enough about the  selfishness , we are here for the cheaters…..and yes I know that they are one in the same☺️☺️
• I  think in other terms about  cheaters, and I think about the growing  number of people out there who believe that they  are entitled to other people’s stuff.  Scammers are just  disgusting and  especially when they  prey on the elderly. It’s bad enough when  we see corporate America having  questionable practice to shake people  down ” legally ” to maximize their profits for shareholders , but the catfishing and phishing and so many other way to separate people from their  wealth is  just over the top. It’s not about  beating the system anymore , because the system is anyone and everyone that they  can take advantage of now. It’s one thing to con someone, but when  it’s done on a dating  site or  in a dating  situation, it just  seems like a new low. The vulnerable and  yes sometimes the desperate, make for an  easy mark at times for those without a conscience . When I  think about the all of the passwords that  we have to endure just to  try and keep ourselves safe from  identity theft or having our lives turned  upside down, makes me want to throat punch someone….borrowed that one from my  daughter, one of her favorite  sayings ☺️☺️.
• Let’s just move on and let  me try an apologize for  every deep hurt and betrayal that you have experienced by a partner  not  being  faithful and  committed  to you. If there is a pattern  of this in your life, then you may  want to invest  some time doing  some internal  diagnostics. Every  guy or girl , can’t  be bad, but it means that you  have a  type, and for whatever  reason you  may be subconsciously selecting  people who  will treat you  poorly and  there is something  going on  beneath  the  surface, and  it may  be time to seek out a professional.  If someone  has cheated on you, and you were unwilling  or unable  to forgive  them, and the  two of you were unable  to reconcile  for whatever  reason, then  just  know that  they didn’t  deserve you, and was completely  undeserving of your  love and affection. I want to  honestly tell  you that it’s them and not You, but it always takes two and we don’t  always  want to  see or own what we brought to the party,☺️ but they  definitely have some serious character flaws to step out opposed to  stepping up and  talking about  it. This is not  the  finger pointing at the rape victim for wearing  scantily dressed clothes, but if we can  recognize signs, then  we can learn from, be proactive of ,  and hopefully  make better  choices in the future, and  hopefully obtain some healing in our lives.  We are all flawed and  prone to hurting  one another and  if we don’t  take extra care to make sure that we don’t  hurt one another  , then it’s inevitable.  I want to  do one of my weird Segway things and I hope that you can  follow along.  I’m posing this as a question, more so than  a statement.
• Have you  ever met or encountered someone who  is in love with  the  idea of  marriage, more so than marriage  itself and the parts about  rolling up the sleeves and  putting  in the work?. They  love the idea of marriage  more than their  actual spouse.  I think  sometimes and especially in the environment that we currently reside in that people easily  become  enamored with  the  wedding  story of the glamorous special day and all of the trappings of what Hollywood tells us  marriage is  supposed to  be about.  So many  people  are ditching traditional  vows and  going  with  something  that sounds  so much sweeter, we made up our own vows, but the words are often  just  cute cuddly descriptions of them  highlighting their  dating life , and a rainbow projection of a future without  any hard core substances of being there when the times get  hard, or when  someone is  sick or poverty  strikes. It often  comes across as  long as things are fine and good, I will  be there…..but… I  can’t  tell  you what is real or not in someone’s relationship. I just  know that  slightly over fifty percent  of  the people  who say ” I Do” , won’t  mean it somewhere in the  future. 
• Let’s just talk about  another  form of cheating, that kind of goes under the same umbrella and  yes, stepping  on toes. Have  you  met or seen those believers who are in love with  the  concept of  God, but not God Himself?  I know you are  thinking that  I need to slow my roll☺️☺️. It’s very  much a legit question and maybe we should  think about it. They always  say that the proof is in the pudding ☺️☺️. It’s an old saying, and what does that even  mean? I guess it’s the people who  have all of the showy stuff  on the outside. It maybe the church  attendance, jumping out to serve every opportunity  available, saying all of the churchy sayings, but something is   not exactly  flush in some of their  prevailing words, actions and attitudes.  I’m not talking  about  perfect  people, because  none of us are that. I will fess up here myself and  say that I don’t  love all of the things  that God  loves, nor do I  hate all of the things that God hates, and why is that? Yes!, I’m human , but isn’t that  a form of some kind  of  a  cop out? I know that walking with  God  is a marathon and  not a  forty yard dash.  Keeping with  the track analogy, what keeps  me from  seeing the  finish  line and wanting to with all of my heart to cross that finish line and hear, not the cheer of the crowds, but the warm embrace of a loving Father and the  words, ” well done! My Good and faithful  child “. A lot going  on there. First is probably  the distractions along the course. I have trouble focusing on the  things that matter and the things that are important to  God. If I’m off chasing  career, possessions, and adventures, then  I’m probably  not going to  see widows and orphans along the way. 
• I have  come face  to face with my tendency to  want  to play God. That’s a stinging and  sobering admission, but man,  do I have  a lot of company  here☺️☺️. We pray, and all to often  we are approaching God in an irreverent way and we want to bend His ear towards a direction, that puts us firmly in the drivers seat for outcomes that we can’t always  imagine the  ramifications for the very  things that we are praying  for. We crave  that control…..God envy ☺️☺️Yeah….a bunch of our prayers are  selfish based in  origin and  very  little to  do with  God’s  will being  done on earth as it is in heaven, let alone in our lives. ☺️I guess the question is do we  truly want  God’s will  to be supreme  in our lives.?  We think  that we  know  best with  our limited understanding and  short  sightedness.  If you have  never had God answer  one of your prayers in a completely  different  way  from  what you  imagined or thought, then  you just  may not know  Him. He is not like  us , made in His image yes,  but nothing  like us and our unfaithful  ways, and  while we  are prone to  making  mistakes, God is not!
• I don’t know  if this is the big reveal or not, but God is pretty  heavy handed when  He talks  about  us cheating on  Him, and don’t  get  it twisted, that’s exactly what it is, we are cheating on God when  other  things, people or places are our hearts desires before  Him. We are running the  course and then  there’s the detour of a bigger house or a better position at work, and then  we can’t  see the finish line, and God says that we have become an *Idolater, and since unfaithful, it also makes us an adulterous person as well, and if you miss the connection there, just give it a minute☺️☺️. It’s that worshipping the things that the creator has blessed us with and failing  on some grand scale missing out on worshipping the Creator Himself.  I  don’t want  you guys to get  hung up on money, which  is normally the focus when  we talk about  cheating God, but He wants your love and admiration and  your praises, way more than  any material  possessions.  He is always about  your heart
• . God places a premium on hearts. God says above  all else to guard your heart . So many  things  flow into  and out of our hearts and it absolutely without a doubt  can  lead you astray ☺️☺️. A genuine  heart with  the correct  posture towards  God makes the difference  between  being  substantiate with  God, or just  living  in the shadows with  God. People  in the shadows  become marginalized, not by God, but by failing to trust Him and  to see Him for all of the awesomeness that He is. I have  been  talking about  cheating today and  before  we part ways, I have a little  bit of an acid test for you and if  you don’t  know  what that is, visit your  friend Google ☺️☺️.
• Ok, here we go.  Think about  a love relationship that you  have  in your  life or had in your life.  It doesn’t have to be Romantic in nature, but it doesn’t  hurt. So it could  be with a child, parent, sibling or a  really  close friend and  think  about  all of the things that  You have experienced with  them, and shared with  them . Probably  some of your  most private thoughts.  The closeness, all of the emotions, the bonds of trust and commitment.  Someone that you could  turn  to when  the dark clouds seem to be forming  over your head and your head alone.☺️ Maybe you  guys shared some of the deepest belly laughs that you  could  ever remember.  Strolls on a cool evening, gazing up at the stars, and maybe  even  making a wish on a shooting star. Ok, now with  all of that, ask yourself, do you  have that with God? ….because you  should, at least some of it and in some ways exactly like that, if not even  much, much more. He loves you and  wants you to spend  time  with  him….stop the cheating!!
• Till Next Time ✌️ Peace!!
• Sandy The Southerner

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