- Not The Only One!
- 28 Dec. 23
- Post# 112
- ” ROCKSTAR”
- Howdy,
- Thanks again for popping in. I almost called this one ” She’s Gone” , either Way it would be appropriate.
- I lost a very dear friend this past week . Her name was Amy Borowitz, and she truly was a Rockstar. I don’t think that I had ever met someone so brave and fierce . She was a kind person, full of passion and a zest for life. I only knew her for about two years. We actually met on a dating site, that neither of us should have been on. I’m always amazed how broken people seek out and are drawn to other broken people. She had recently escaped a really bad marriage and she had a laundry list of health problems that would have rivaled Helen Keller.. I had just had a really bad break up with a long distance relationship that I had been carrying on all through the covid pandemic. It wasn’t bad as in ugly, just one without closure and leaves you wondering why people say one thing and do something else completely.
- Amy’s sister Kris had set her up on the dating site as a distraction, and I was also looking to be distracted. If you know anything at all about online dating, then you know that it carries an element of people not always being who they represent themselves to be. So basically a lot of times you are talking to complete strangers, who also happen to be strange☺️☺️. She was in West Virginia, which is where she actually passed at this past week . Her health problems had lead her to being in the care of her younger sister. We chatted back and forth through the site for a couple of days and then exchanged numbers, which is pretty customary, if you are comfortable with the person, and we were both in a none caring state of mind. I said none caring because I don’t think that either of us was thinking that the other were a serious genuine person, or being legit ☺️. I think that we quickly bond over each other health issues. I think that a lot of her health issues had been brought on by a not good relationship with her ex husband and her not taking care of herself. I said a laundry list and it started with high blood pressure and Fibromyalgia , and the kicker was that she needed a kidney transplant, but there were other little tweaks as well. Despite all of her ailments, and the pain and suffering, she could always force a genuine smile. She always was thinking of others and one of her major concerns was that she didn’t want to be a burden to others. As the relationship grew, I think that we shared things with one another, that probably most people never knew about us.
- She had a pretty amazing life before the not so hot marriage and all of the health stuff. She was one of four kids , and mostly demonstrated the middle child character of being a pleaser . Her parents were medical people, her dad a doctor and her mom a nurse. Her parents at some point did work something close to doctors without borders, and she spent part of her young life in Africa. She told me of a story of how colonel Muammar Gaddafi, helped them escape Lydia just before he came to power. I think that one of the hardest things for her was that she wasn’t the person that she once was. I know you are probably thinking, no kidding, none of us are. Well, Amy had been quite the jock in her younger days, almost to the point of Olympic type status. The way she made laps in the pool made people sometimes wondered if Aquaman was her father ☺️☺️. She had something close to a shrine with all of the different trophies from volleyball, softball, and track and field. They served as a painful memory of when she actually had use of her body. They mean so little to her now and would just trade anything for good health, for a kidney that she desperately needed. She was well traveled and educated. I’m not sure how she ended up with her husband. It sounded as if she had multiple suitors and she just picked the wrong one. I only have her side of the story, so I don’t feel as if it’s right to demonize him. As, they say, you never truly know people until you live with them, and then there is that whole thing about what goes on behind close doors☺️. She showed me pictures of her wedding and it was a reenactment of a civil war area reception, she said his idea, not hers, and we are still not judging him☺️☺️.
- She was smart as a whip, and had a sassy, sometimes sarcastic sense of humor. She was really quick on her toes. She was formally trained as a school teacher and she had taught from kindergarten up to third grade. She just loved kids, but was never blessed with any of her own. Her health didn’t just rob her of her athleticism, but it forced her onto disability and took her teaching away as well. When people are gone, sometimes all we are left with are the memories and the different ways that they made us laugh. She was quite the joker at times. She was fiercely independent, so as soon as she had recovered from the episode that landed her at her sister’s, she returned home to Ohio. She was just outside of Columbus in a place called Westerville. She had a few friends there and she would occasionally hangout with them. She told me a story of her sitting at the kitchen table at a Halloween party, and some random drunk guy asked her if she wanted to go upstairs and give it a go☺️☺️, nothing like being propositioned by a random drunk guy☺️☺️. It made her feel good that somebody thought that she could, but she had her days of struggling just to walk across the floor to the refrigerator , so that gave her a chuckle. Its just one example of things looking fine on the outside , and people having no idea of what is going on inwardly. When she left her sister’s place, she was really focused on getting better and taking control of her life. She did travel to visit her parents who live down just outside of the Willington, North Carolina. They live near the beach in a senior community, and Amy once again got strong enough to return to the water, and she took turns between the pool and the ocean. As time moved along the kidney situation got worse and her world began to close in on her. She was determined to not let her health issues define who she was. She would occasionally go out on a four wheeler with her friends, knowing full well that she would pay a price for it later.
- The earlier part of this year , she was not doing to well and it lead to our one and only face to face meeting. I told her that I was coming for a visit and she didn’t believe that I would take the time, or that the phone calls had added up to her being worthy of an in-person visit, but she was wrong. I drove up to Westerville, it was about a ten hour excursion. When she came to the door her face just radiated with joy, never knew I could have such a profound impact on anyone like that. It really wasn’t me, but she just felt broken and that no one would want to give her the time of day. She would often make comments about herself as in she could no longer run and play, which is something that I’m sure she had said hundreds of times before as a kindergarten teacher. Still, my visit seemed to encourage her and her disposition seemed to get just a little brighter. We hung out for four days together and we did a few restaurants and even made it to a worship service. She didn’t get out of the house much except for doctors visits. It seemed to take every ounce of her strength to go out, but she always wanted to go. She just wanted some semblance of a normal life. We watched a little TV together and I discovered that she was a fan of heavy metal, to me that is just head banging music☺️☺️. Sometimes the pain would get to be even more so unbearable and the only thing that seemed to help was for her to smoke some medicinal pot, and at those times I would return to the hotel where I was staying. I can’t be around that because of my work, I’m subject to random screenings on my job. We had patronized a restaurant called the ” GOAT”, and when she first told me about it, I thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t and the food was pretty good, don’t know about greatest of all times, but not bad.☺️ It was really cold in Ohio in March, but I’m glad that I went and that we did have that one on one time together.
- I returned home and her health continued to decline. I’m just going to confess that I can be a lazy person at times, and I don’t usually care about or pay attention to certain things until it some how touches my life in a personal way, so I was real clueless about kidney disease. I didn’t know or realize that people do better , if they can get a kidney transplant before starting dialysis. I’m not sure why that is a thing, but that is what the data shows. I also didn’t know that there is more than one option as to the type of kidney you could receive. There was a ton of things that I was unaware of. Amy had been trying to hold out without doing the dialysis, but as things progress, it didn’t leave her with any other options . Living by herself was not the best plan for her, but she was fiercely independent and most definitely didn’t want to inconvenience others. Her parents are up there in age, and she felt as if she should have been looking after them, instead of the other way around. She was subject to take falls and rarely had the strength to do much of anything at all. She would often be black and blue, and if not from taking a tumble in the house, then from the constant medical procedures. Almost a decade prior, I had an uncle who had went down this road, and I remember him expressing how draining dialysis could be, so I knew that it was no picnic. I would be lying to you if I told you that she didn’t throw the occasional pity party, and I want to say who could blame her, but for the most part she was a real trooper.
- I’m not sure that I’ve ever had a friendship like that before. I think that part of it was encapsulated in the confinement of her disabilities, because she didn’t have regular job things or kids and family that made demands on her time, so she was just always available, even when I wasn’t. I’ve met other platonic friends on line before, but none like Amy. She just had this bubbly infectious persona about her. It was just under this umbrella of warmth and a really wicked sense of humor. She was all Gemini and something about her would just never let you forget that about her, not for one second ☺️☺️. She was my friend and I loved her. It was different and I never thought to myself that at another time and place, and under different circumstances that things would have been different between us, but I have often thought that we would have had a lot more fun together, because she was just a fun person. Who knows what have may taken place in some other setting? , but that is not what God had in store for us. We were given to one another as encouragers and to help one another navigate the complexities of life. She would from time to time go out on a date, and she would encounter men who her situation was just to much for them to handle, and I get that. When you are out on a date with someone and they get sick, I think that we are much more forgiving of the drunk girl who has had to much to drink , opposed to a person who is living a chronic life of being sick, more times than not. I mean they could always choose to not drink, but she didn’t have the option of not being sick. Sometimes it was almost like having Alzheimer , where people are locked inside of a body that they desperately want to escape. When I looked at Amy , I would see that, someone who had so much living to do, trapped in a body that wouldn’t cooperate. I really tried to not be a narcissist and make it about myself , but often I just felt ill-equipped myself. We would talk or text and I would feel overwhelmed by all that she was walking through. It was just the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness of that there was nothing that I could do to make her plight lighter. It would remind me of when my kids were little and if one of them were sick and you would do anything to take the pain away and to give them relief from the discomfort. I felt helpless, and I was ten hours away and often my only solution was prayer. I take prayer seriously and I believe that God can do anything, but I also know that sometimes there is a greater purpose in the pain, than what we see or know. I know that God answers prayer, and I also know that it is not always in the way or how we would like for Him to do so.
- So she started out in the care of her younger sister and that is where she ended the journey. At first when she told me that she was going back to West Virginia, I thought, great, she would be around family, but she had taken that opportunity to say that she had, had enough. The difference a day can make, for almost two years, Amy was constantly in my prayers, but no more. Her sister texted me right before she passed and asked me if I had any last thoughts that I wanted to share with her. It was just before midnight and her mother was there holding her hand. I won’t share what I shared with her sister to tell Amy for me, but I just kept thinking that we didn’t have enough time together, never enough time. As I sit here with tears welling up in my eyes, I realized that I loved this woman more than I knew and that she had left a huge whole in my heart like no other and that she was going to be severely missed. It was both an honor and privilege to get to know her and to spend time with her. I was awesomely blessed by all of her jokes , and the sense of humor that set her apart from all other people. Go with God Amy Borowitz and we shall meet again!
- Thank you for allowing me to share this, and I hope that all of you have the hope that can only be found in Jesus Christ, that you will see your love ones again someday.
- Till Next Time ✌️ Peace!
- Sandy The Southerner
- In Memory of
- Amy Elizabeth Borowitz
- 1963 – 2023
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- Amy Elizabeth Borowitz (Hauser) (60) passed away peacefully on December 21, 2023, surrounded by her family and her favorite music. She is survived by Anne Smith Hash (mother), Dr. Volney Wade Hash, Jr. (step-father), aunts Janet Hauser and Sheila Smith, siblings David Hauser (Dina), Daniel Hauser (Ramona Horton), Kristina Hash (Sarah Guerry), nephews Andrew and Blake Hauser, nieces Emily and Jenna Hauser and Alyssa Guerry, cousins Ronin and Rigel Waring, and life-long friends Linda, Mike, and Warren Nelson. She was preceded in death by her father Dr. James Hauser. She graduated from Beechcroft High School in Columbus, Ohio and received her bachelors degree in education from St. Ambrose College in Davenport, IA. She was a beloved kindergarten teacher for many years in Columbus Public Schools. She was a cherished family member and friend known for her fun loving spirit, generosity, infectious giggle, cruising in her Mustang GT, and her love of ice cream. A picnic celebrating her life will be held on later date. Amy will be dearly missed by her family and friends. May she find eternal peace. The family would like to thank the staff at WVU Hospitals and WV Caring Hospice for the excellent care she received. In lieu of flowers the family asks that donations be sent to the hospice.
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- 153 Spruce Street, Morgantown, West Virginia 26505 | Phone: (304) 292-8664 | Email: hastingsfuneralhome@gmail.com
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