“ROCKSTAR”

  • Not The Only One!
  • 28 Dec. 23
  • Post# 112
  •                           ” ROCKSTAR”
  • Howdy,
  • Thanks again for  popping  in. I  almost  called  this one ” She’s Gone” , either  Way  it would  be appropriate.
  • I  lost a very dear friend  this past week .  Her name  was  Amy Borowitz, and she truly was a Rockstar. I  don’t  think  that  I  had ever met someone  so brave and fierce .  She was a kind person, full of passion and  a zest for life.  I only  knew  her for about  two years. We actually  met on a dating  site, that neither  of  us should  have  been  on. I’m always  amazed  how broken  people seek out and are drawn to other  broken  people.  She had recently  escaped  a really  bad marriage and  she  had a laundry list of health  problems that  would  have  rivaled  Helen  Keller.. I  had just  had a really  bad break up with  a long distance  relationship that  I had been  carrying on  all through the  covid  pandemic.  It wasn’t  bad as  in ugly, just  one without  closure and  leaves  you wondering  why people  say one thing and do something else completely.
  • Amy’s  sister  Kris had set her up on the dating site  as a distraction, and I  was also  looking to be distracted.  If you know  anything at all about  online  dating, then  you  know  that  it carries  an element of  people  not always  being  who they  represent  themselves to  be. So basically  a lot of times you are talking  to  complete  strangers, who also  happen  to  be  strange☺️☺️. She was in West Virginia, which  is  where she actually  passed  at this past week .  Her health  problems  had lead her to  being  in the care of her younger sister.  We chatted back and forth  through the  site for a couple of days  and  then  exchanged numbers, which  is  pretty customary, if you are comfortable with  the  person, and we were both in a none caring  state of mind. I  said none caring  because  I  don’t  think that either  of us was  thinking that the other were a serious  genuine  person, or being legit ☺️.  I think  that  we quickly  bond over each other  health  issues.  I think that  a lot of her health  issues had been  brought on by a not good  relationship with  her  ex husband and  her not taking  care of  herself.  I  said a laundry list and  it started  with  high blood  pressure  and Fibromyalgia , and  the  kicker was  that  she needed a  kidney  transplant, but there  were other  little  tweaks as well.  Despite all  of  her ailments, and the  pain and suffering, she could always force a  genuine  smile.  She always  was thinking of  others and one of her major  concerns was that she didn’t  want to  be a burden  to others.  As the relationship grew, I  think  that  we  shared things  with  one another, that probably  most people  never  knew about us.
  • She had a  pretty  amazing  life  before the not so hot marriage and  all of  the   health stuff.  She was one of four kids , and mostly demonstrated the middle child character of being a pleaser .  Her parents were  medical  people, her dad a doctor and her mom a nurse. Her parents at some point did work  something  close to  doctors  without  borders, and she spent  part of her young life in  Africa.  She  told me of a story of how colonel Muammar Gaddafi, helped  them  escape  Lydia  just  before  he came to  power.  I  think that  one of  the  hardest  things  for her was that she wasn’t  the person that  she once was. I  know  you  are  probably  thinking, no kidding, none of us are.  Well, Amy had been  quite the jock in her younger  days, almost  to the  point of  Olympic  type  status.  The way she made laps in the pool made  people  sometimes  wondered  if Aquaman  was  her father  ☺️☺️.  She had something  close to  a shrine with  all of the  different  trophies from  volleyball, softball, and track and field.  They served  as  a  painful  memory of when  she  actually  had  use of her body.  They  mean  so little  to  her now and would  just  trade  anything for  good  health, for a kidney that she desperately needed.  She was well  traveled and educated.  I’m not sure  how she ended  up  with  her  husband.  It sounded  as if she had multiple  suitors and  she just  picked  the wrong  one. I only  have  her side of the story, so I  don’t  feel  as  if  it’s right  to demonize him. As, they say, you  never  truly  know  people  until  you  live  with  them, and then  there is that whole  thing  about  what goes on behind  close  doors☺️.  She showed  me  pictures of  her wedding and  it was a reenactment of a civil war area reception, she said his idea, not hers, and we are still  not judging him☺️☺️.
  • She was  smart as a whip, and  had a sassy, sometimes  sarcastic  sense of  humor.  She was really  quick  on her toes. She was formally trained as a school  teacher and  she  had taught  from  kindergarten up to third grade. She just  loved kids, but was never  blessed  with  any of her own.  Her health  didn’t  just  rob her of her athleticism, but it forced   her onto  disability and  took her teaching  away  as well.  When  people  are gone, sometimes  all we are left with  are  the  memories and the different ways that they  made us laugh.  She was quite the joker at times. She was fiercely independent, so as soon  as  she had recovered from the  episode that landed  her  at her sister’s, she returned  home to Ohio.  She  was  just  outside  of  Columbus in a place called  Westerville.  She had  a  few  friends  there and  she would  occasionally  hangout  with  them.  She told me a story of her sitting  at  the  kitchen  table at a Halloween party, and some random  drunk  guy asked her if she wanted  to  go upstairs and  give it a go☺️☺️, nothing  like  being  propositioned by a random  drunk  guy☺️☺️.  It made her feel  good that  somebody  thought that she could, but she had her days of struggling  just  to  walk across  the  floor  to the  refrigerator , so that gave  her a chuckle. Its just one example of things looking fine on the outside , and people having no idea of what is going on inwardly.   When  she  left  her  sister’s  place, she was really  focused on getting  better and  taking control  of  her  life. She did travel  to  visit  her  parents who live  down just outside  of the  Willington, North  Carolina.  They  live  near the  beach  in a senior  community, and Amy once again  got strong  enough  to  return  to  the  water, and she took turns  between  the  pool and the ocean. As time  moved  along the  kidney  situation  got worse and her world  began  to close  in on her. She was determined  to  not  let her health  issues define  who  she  was.  She would  occasionally  go out on a four wheeler with  her  friends, knowing  full  well  that she would  pay  a price  for it later. 
  • The earlier  part of this year , she was not doing  to well  and it lead to our one and only  face to face meeting.  I  told  her that  I  was  coming  for a visit and  she didn’t  believe  that I  would  take the time, or that the phone  calls  had added  up to her being  worthy of an in-person  visit, but she was wrong. I  drove  up to  Westerville, it was about  a  ten hour  excursion.  When she came  to  the  door  her face just radiated with  joy, never knew I could have  such  a  profound  impact on  anyone  like  that.  It really  wasn’t me, but she just  felt  broken and  that  no one would  want  to  give  her the time of day. She  would  often  make comments about herself  as in she could  no longer  run and play, which  is  something that  I’m  sure she had said hundreds of  times  before   as a kindergarten teacher.  Still, my visit  seemed to encourage her and  her disposition seemed  to  get  just  a  little  brighter.  We hung out for four days  together and  we did  a few restaurants and  even made it to a worship  service.  She didn’t  get  out of the house  much  except  for  doctors visits.  It seemed to take  every  ounce of  her strength  to  go out, but she always  wanted  to  go. She just  wanted  some semblance of  a normal life.  We watched a little  TV  together and  I discovered that  she was a fan  of  heavy metal, to me that is just  head banging  music☺️☺️.  Sometimes the pain would get to be  even more so unbearable and the only  thing that  seemed to  help  was  for her to smoke  some medicinal pot, and at those  times  I  would return  to  the  hotel  where I was staying.  I  can’t  be around  that because of my work, I’m subject  to  random screenings on my job.  We had patronized  a restaurant  called the  ” GOAT”, and when she first  told me about it, I thought  it was a  joke, but it wasn’t and the food was  pretty  good, don’t   know  about  greatest of all times, but not bad.☺️ It was really  cold in Ohio in March, but I’m glad that I  went and that we did  have  that one on one time together. 
  • I  returned  home and her health  continued to  decline.  I’m just  going  to  confess that I  can  be  a  lazy person at times, and I don’t  usually  care about  or pay attention to  certain  things until  it some how  touches my life  in a personal  way, so I was   real clueless about  kidney disease.  I  didn’t  know  or realize that  people  do better  , if they can get a  kidney  transplant before  starting  dialysis.  I’m not sure why that is a thing, but that is what the data shows.  I  also  didn’t  know  that there  is  more  than  one  option  as to  the type of  kidney you could  receive.  There was a ton of things that I was unaware of.  Amy had  been  trying  to  hold out without  doing  the dialysis, but as things  progress, it didn’t  leave  her with  any other  options .  Living  by herself was not the best  plan  for  her, but she was fiercely  independent and  most definitely didn’t  want  to  inconvenience others.  Her parents are up there in age, and she felt  as if she should have  been  looking  after  them, instead of the other way around.  She was  subject to  take falls and  rarely  had  the strength to  do  much  of  anything at all. She would  often  be  black and  blue, and if not from   taking  a  tumble in the  house, then  from  the  constant  medical  procedures.  Almost a decade  prior, I  had an uncle who had  went  down  this road, and I  remember  him  expressing  how  draining  dialysis could be, so I  knew that  it was no picnic. I  would  be lying to  you  if I  told you that  she didn’t  throw  the occasional  pity party, and I  want  to  say who could  blame  her, but for the most part she was a real  trooper.
  • I’m not  sure  that I’ve ever had a friendship like that  before.  I think  that  part of it was encapsulated  in the confinement of  her disabilities, because  she  didn’t  have  regular  job things or kids and family   that made demands  on her time, so she was  just  always  available, even  when  I  wasn’t.  I’ve met  other  platonic friends on line before, but none like  Amy.  She just  had this  bubbly infectious persona about  her.  It was just  under  this  umbrella  of warmth and  a really  wicked  sense of humor.  She was  all Gemini and  something  about  her  would  just  never let  you  forget that about  her, not for  one second ☺️☺️. She was my friend and I  loved her.  It was  different and I  never  thought to myself that  at another  time and place, and under different  circumstances that things would have  been  different  between  us, but I  have  often  thought that  we would  have  had a lot more   fun together, because  she was  just  a  fun person. Who knows what have may taken place in  some other setting? , but that is not  what  God had in store for  us. We were given to  one another as encouragers and  to help  one another  navigate the complexities of life.  She would  from  time to time  go out on a date, and she would  encounter men who her situation was just  to  much  for them  to  handle, and I  get that. When  you are out on a date with  someone and they  get  sick, I  think that  we  are much  more  forgiving of the drunk girl who has had to much to drink  , opposed to a  person  who  is living a chronic life of being  sick, more times  than not.  I mean  they  could  always  choose to  not drink, but she didn’t  have  the option  of not being  sick. Sometimes  it was almost  like  having    Alzheimer , where people  are  locked inside  of a  body that they desperately  want to escape.  When  I  looked at  Amy , I  would  see that, someone  who  had so much  living  to do, trapped  in  a  body that wouldn’t  cooperate.  I really  tried to  not be a narcissist and make  it about  myself , but often I  just  felt  ill-equipped myself.  We would talk or text and I would  feel  overwhelmed  by  all that  she was walking through.  It was just  the feeling of  helplessness and  hopelessness of that there was nothing that I  could  do  to make  her plight  lighter.  It would  remind  me  of when  my kids were  little and  if one of  them  were sick and you would  do anything  to  take the pain  away and to give them  relief from  the  discomfort.  I  felt  helpless, and  I  was ten hours away and  often my only  solution was  prayer. I  take prayer seriously and I  believe that  God  can  do anything, but I  also  know  that sometimes there is a greater purpose  in the pain, than  what  we see or know.  I know that  God answers  prayer, and I  also  know  that  it is not always  in the way or how we would  like  for  Him  to do so.
  • So she started  out  in the care of her younger  sister and  that is where she ended  the journey.  At first  when  she told me that she was going  back to West Virginia, I  thought, great, she would  be  around  family, but she had taken  that  opportunity to  say that she had, had enough.  The  difference a day can  make, for almost  two years, Amy was constantly in my prayers, but no more. Her sister  texted me right  before  she passed and asked  me if  I  had any last  thoughts that I wanted to  share  with  her. It was just  before  midnight and  her mother  was  there  holding her hand.  I  won’t  share what I  shared with her  sister to tell  Amy for me, but I  just  kept  thinking that  we didn’t  have  enough time together, never enough time.  As I sit here with  tears welling up in my eyes, I  realized that I  loved this  woman  more than I knew and that she had left a  huge whole in my heart like no other and that she was going to be  severely  missed.  It was both  an honor and privilege to get to know  her and  to  spend  time  with  her.  I  was awesomely  blessed  by  all of her jokes , and the  sense  of  humor  that set her apart from all  other  people.  Go with  God Amy Borowitz and we shall  meet  again!
  • Thank you for allowing me  to  share this, and I  hope that  all of you have the hope that can  only be found  in  Jesus  Christ, that you will  see your  love  ones again  someday.
  • Till Next Time ✌️ Peace!
  • Sandy The Southerner
    • In Memory of
    • Amy Elizabeth Borowitz
    • 1963 – 2023
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    • Obituary of Amy Elizabeth Borowitz
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    • Amy Elizabeth Borowitz (Hauser) (60) passed away peacefully on December 21, 2023, surrounded by her family and her favorite music. She is survived by Anne Smith Hash (mother), Dr. Volney Wade Hash, Jr. (step-father), aunts Janet Hauser and Sheila Smith, siblings David Hauser (Dina), Daniel Hauser (Ramona Horton), Kristina Hash (Sarah Guerry), nephews Andrew and Blake Hauser, nieces Emily and Jenna Hauser and Alyssa Guerry, cousins Ronin and Rigel Waring, and life-long friends Linda, Mike, and Warren Nelson. She was preceded in death by her father Dr. James Hauser. She graduated from Beechcroft High School in Columbus, Ohio and received her bachelors degree in education from St. Ambrose College in Davenport, IA. She was a beloved kindergarten teacher for many years in Columbus Public Schools. She was a cherished family member and friend known for her fun loving spirit, generosity, infectious giggle, cruising in her Mustang GT, and her love of ice cream. A picnic celebrating her life will be held on later date. Amy will be dearly missed by her family and friends. May she find eternal peace. The family would like to thank the staff at WVU Hospitals and WV Caring Hospice for the excellent care she received. In lieu of flowers the family asks that donations be sent to the hospice.
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    • 153 Spruce Street, Morgantown, West Virginia 26505     |     Phone: (304) 292-8664     |    Email: hastingsfuneralhome@gmail.com
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