- Not The Only One!
- Post#95
- 31 Aug. 23
- Love is……
- Howdy,
- Welcome aboard again. Another week and another post push out by something else. I don’t watch a lot of TV, not sure really why, it use to be a staple in my life, but not so much!, any longer. I know that part of the equation is that I no longer have a DVR, and so I’m a little spoiled because I detest all of the commercials and I find much of the content objectionable, accompanied by my low tolerance for political correctness, normally leaves me on Amazon prime, where I get to pick and choose, and that is exactly where I found myself on the last evening. I ended up watching a movie called ” Three Thousand Years of Longing “. I’m not recommending the movie, but for some reason I found it captivating enough to trade it for some of my sleep ☺️☺️. On some level it was dealing with love and our need for it, even when we try to bury that desire deep within ourselves. What is love to us? It can be a mystery. It can be a many splendid things, but at the root of it , it is freely giving yourself to someone without inhibitions, or as my friend likes to say, being with someone, where you just feel safe. You know that they have the best intentions towards you and that they would never intentionally hurt or harm you . You would just assume to loose a body part or some vital organ, before willingly causing them some sort of pain. It’s the thinking of and putting forth someone else before yourself. It’s taking the second position willingly and not being felt made a fool because of it, and if you do look or feel foolish, that you are completely ok with that. Why is love something that we all so desperately crave, desire and need and is all so illusive at times.? I guess I’ve had my share of loves and lovers as well. I have both won and loss at love. I have both been the dumper and the dumpie when things didn’t work out and go according to plans. I have hurt people and have had people hurt me as well. There are different kinds of love and I truly believe that when it comes to unconditional love it’s something that we usually reserve for our off spring, or how God loves us and how we hope that He loves us with some of the scrapes that we find ourselves in at times. I count it a blessing now, but not at the time to truly know what it is to love someone unconditionally besides my kids, and it came at an extreme price, which I would never have chosen to pay, if given the choice on the front end. It’s something to know what it is to recklessly abandon yourself to someone and not have that returned in kind. That is how God loves, and we will get back to that in a few. I do believe that this kind of love can grow in a relationships that spans four decades or more. I mean at this point in life there have been so many ups and downs, good times, bad times and in between times, that it doesn’t almost matter anymore. We are so on the road of what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger. In some ways love is like and seriously connected to the tongue. It can lift us up, inspire us and encourage us to new heights, but the opposite is true as well, and love can make us a little cray cray at times.☺️☺️ I mean how else can we explain stalkers and people who can become so obsessed that they are persuaded to hurt someone else or even themselves. I mean, like enduring love, once you get past the lustful stage, and you would still be willing to give them a kidney or take a bullet for them ☺️☺️, can be something special and amazing all in the same breath. Lust can be a very powerful emotion and it’s extremely sad when someone can’t tell the difference. In this day and age with the hook up mindset, I get that it can be confusing for some. It’s not an easy feat to get past the heart wanting what the heart wants, even if it may be something or someone else in the next forty eight hours or so ☺️☺️. I’ve been on the third rock from the sun for a bit and have observed quite a few things, and there is no universal magical formula for what works and what doesn’t. I’ve heard some say that love is sweeter or better the second time around, and then there’s that third time is a charm thing. I know that for others it is just that one and done thing, where they met their match and it can truly be for better or worse. There are people who marry once for life and when their partner passes on, they refuse to get back out there because they feel as if they have already had that once in a lifetime love, and they don’t believe that it could ever even come close to being duplicated. Still others will marry and monogamy and matrimony leaves such a sour taste in their mouth, that they just swear it off for the rest of their lives. We all have needs and beyond the basics of food and shelter, it comes down to having a place where you belong, which often means a loving environment, or some kind of relationship, being it family or romantic in nature. Some people will talk about the gift of singleness and I’m not going to discount that, but it doesn’t lessen their needs for meaningful interpersonal relationships and contact in their lives. There have been a great many jokes about people being single and then there is the debate about there being someone out there for everyone, and when push comes to shove, I do believe that to be basically true. I mean men can be pretty disgusting at times and can function at such a base level, it’s almost as if they are trying to intentionally live off of the grid, and fortunately or unfortunately, I’ve encountered women who would match up with them pretty well ☺️☺️,,not exactly the girl I would bring home to momma, but different strokes for different folks, and at the end of the day, it’s all about what works for you. I even have seen down syndrome people get married and be in committed relationships, so wherever there is a hand, there is a glove, made for it, it may take a little extra searching, but anything and all things are possible when it comes to love. I think all to often we let Hollywood dictate what love is supposed to look like, and if you are only looking for a ninety minute or two hour relationship, then that may be the correct formula for you ☺️☺️.However if you live in the real world and want something genuine and sustainable, prepare to roll up your sleeves because love and relationships are a lot of work. Happily ever after cost every one something, even if its nothing more than having to supplant your will for the greater of the relationship, there are no free rides, so if you ride the ride just be aware that there is a cost associated with it. Sometimes we ask ourselves is it worth it? I honestly can’t answer that for you, but I guess it comes down to the kind of investment you are willing to put in and what you are hoping for in forms of” ROI,” return on your investment. Love can be so multifaceted and complex, but at its core, it’s about acceptance. We all crave and desire for someone to accept us with all of our scares, blemishes and whatnots, and sometimes at this stage of the game, it can be quite the package deal with baggage ranging from kids to health problems. We all have different tolerances and things that make us a little squeamish, as in that’s just a little to much, or more than I’m prepared to sign on for. I don’t really think about it as being selfish, but I like to think of it as us just knowing ourselves and our strengths and weaknesses. If you are someone who struggles with sobriety, you may not want to team up with someone who sees alcohol as some kind of daily right of passage.☺️ If you have lost a spouse to breast cancer, you may not want to choose to sign up for that one again, at least not willingly. I also know that sometimes when we go the extra mile, we can be rewarded with some of the sweetest times in life that we have ever known, and that is no endorsement to just roll the dice ☺️☺️. I once knew a man who had done just that, he had lost a wife to breast cancer, and then he connected with an old friendship from high school, who was walking that path and despite her cautions to wait and see how things would turn out , he fully embraced her and her condition and it was a beautiful love story and probably helped contributed to her recovery and becoming a cancer survivor opposed to being just another statistic. We should never discount the difference that one person can make in our lives and all that may be derived from that. Again not an endorsement to roll the dice, but I do highly recommend prayer and reflection, before jumping in the deep end of the pool. I know that there is a fairly high degree of commitment phobia out there and sometimes it’s understandable, but I think that the majority of that is rooted in fear and or selfishness. I’m not going to take the remainder of our time with that, but circle back around to reckless abandonment. I don’t believe that there has ever been a more clearer example of this than the cross of Calvary. If you look at it for what it was two thousand years ago and is still today, a straight up rescue mission. I probably count myself as one of billions of people who struggles to wrap my mind around that kind of love. There are certain things I know to be true and some of them are just honest evaluations about myself. One is, I know myself and who I am. I will often tell people that I know how to be nice and kind, but I’m not a nice person by any stretch of the imagination, sometimes not even on what I would consider one of my best days, and frankly that’s a little sad and telling. Secondly, my son and I have a relationship that requires a lot of work at times, I have mentioned before that he really got caught up in his mother’s and mine’s mess while we were going our separate ways ,and the effects have lingered longer than one would hope or possibly image. None the less, I love my boy, and I could never even begin to think about making him a sacrifice for others, especially others who do not appreciate it, or acknowledge it and the one’s who do, often take it for granted. That isn’t just reckless, it’s radical, it’s Him knowing that we needed a surgeon to eradicate a disease in our souls that only He could provide. So, provide that He did , and He gave and He bankrupt heaven for a person who isn’t nice, even on his best days. I’m so thankful that God isn’t fickle like we are. We love this or that and then we can move on from it sometime without giving the least little bit of thought to the damage that has our names and finger prints all over it. I still find it so fascinating after all of this time that we really haven’t changed that much since the garden. When Christ walk the earth, there were just mad crowds of people who followed Him around. They craved the what can you do for me, or what have you done for me lately mindset. They loved the feedings, the miracles and what some just saw as inspirational teachings in stead of it being the very words of God. He wanted so much more for them than just the physical manifestations that He brought to the table, but He wanted to heal their very souls and He still longs that very same thing for us today. I don’t think it takes much to look at my life and see that I’m a wretch and God desires for me to be so much more than just a beautiful mess, and He wants that for you as well, so if you have never considered the ” who so ever “, which is an open invitation to all , all walks and creeds, ethnicities, genders, and who ever else might be lurking outside wanting in, He’s waiting for you. He accepts all, and it doesn’t matter where you have been or what you have done, He just wants you to openly confess your need for Him. Before we part ways today, I’m going to give you a kicker of sorts. We all are made in the image of God and His likeness and we only have the faintest idea of how to love, because He first loved us and had mercy on our sometimes pathetic selves. So here you go, you have some one in your life that you are blessed to love and hopefully you take care of one another. If you stop and think about the ways that You show love and appreciation for them, why are those same attributes not present in your relationship with God? Hopefully you spend time with this person. Hopefully you have two way communications with them. Hopefully there is time when you just silently sit and enjoy their presence. Hopefully there are times of you openly sharing your appreciation and gratification for all that they do for you and in your life. Hopefully you tell others about the great relationship that you have with Him, just like you brag about your husband or significant other getting around to the honey do list. ☺️☺️ God appreciates it when we treat Him as if we love Him as well. I spoke earlier of things that I absolutely know, and couple more is that God loves broken people and He always use the one’s that others think are to damaged to be useful for anything. God calls us to love others in the same way that He has loved us, and we can’t do that, if we are to all about self. We are created in His image and we are to reflect His nature and He resist the proud and often times arrogant. And since we reflect His nature and character, we also have a tendency to pull away from proud people. People who think that they have it all together and better than other people and if you think that you can do life without God, then that person may be you. I’ve mentioned before how my intentions are to write about one thing and something completely different comes out. If you don’t believe in divine intervention, explain how I was working on a post about pedofiles, and then ended up here. ☺️☺️
- Till Next Time ✌️ Peace!
- Sandy The Southerner
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