” Moxie “

• Not The Only One!
• Post#79
• 11may 23  
•              Moxie !     
•        ” What Happened  to  You “
• Howdy!,
• Hey welcome  once again.  As the adventure  continues and  I  get  to meet  more and more of you through the  medium of this blog ,I  love the insight of your stories and lives. I  just  want to  thank You guys for letting  me  share your stories with  others.  I  have a new friend from  the  Sunshine  state, and the subject  of  ” Moxie”  came up. Now, when you  talk about  Moxie ,it brings to  mind a wide range of thoughts and  ideas ,as to exactly  what  that is. On some level,  it is  about  how we carry  ourselves,  but I  think  that  it is  about  so much  more than   how we want to  present ourselves to  others,  or how we want  them  to  perceive  us. It is  so,  so hard for us  to get  past what others  think about us and  who they  believe that  we  are  , from  what we  choose to  show and share about  ourselves.  Some  people  think  of  Moxie as sex appeal,  and  I  do believe that is definitely apart of it. However,  what happens when  the sex appeal , has up and  gone?☺️☺️. Does that  mean that  the  Moxie  is no more?, I  don’t  believe that to be true.  And  of course, some like to view it  as confidence or self  confidence, and  that  is probably more so a part of it  than the sex appeal  thing. Another term that gets thrown around or is interchangeable is Swagger.  I  find it interesting that  if you take Swagger and  sex appeal and  self confidence together,  these are  three of the  main ingredients  that  most pointed to machoism,, or Male chauvinism, or  maybe  masculinity in overdrive,  which  is  definitely  not in favor now days. I wonder if  the absence of  such has led to all of this gender confusion that is running  rampant through  society ☺️☺️. Again, we aren’t  going to  chase  that  rabbit,  regardless of  how  much  it  begs us to, well at least not today  anyway☺️☺️. I  don’t want to  get  to  far off track,  but my friend in  Florida  was asking the question ” What happened to  me “? I  think that  I  need to  offer a little  clarity here. I  think that this is a question that  gets asked a lot, if not to us, but we ask ourselves.  It’s almost like  we  are  a steaming  Locomotive coming down  the tracks of life, and  then  there was this derailment of some kind.   It  didn’t  happen  overnight,  but as we look back over the debris field and  all of the collateral damage , there is just  to much  evidence to deny , that  there was some kind of  derailment or change in  life’s  course and direction.  It has been  said that we tear up our bodies the first forty years and the next forty years trying to  take care of them .  I  have  found  that  to be true in  my  life, and the upkeep can  be  rather  expensive and  costly at times.☺️☺️ If you can be characterized by any of the following  , then  you  may very  well  be  asking yourself the question of what happened to me?. Most of us start out bright eyed and bushy tailed,  as the saying goes . We had the world by the tail,  and we may have  believed that we were going to  be a difference maker, and change the world.  We may have  not set out to resolve  world  hunger, or world  peace,  or anything as humongous as that, however  we thought that  we would  leave our mark on the world.  Now, regardless of how that may  have  played out in your heart and  mind,  measure it against  where you are today,  or where you landed  In life. Most of  us  have  hopes and dreams and  it looks different for everybody,  and  surprisingly a lot to do with  our upbringing.  I  mean  if  your dad was a dirt farmer,  not that there is anything  wrong with that,  but depending on  your take on it, it could  be  something that you  may want  to  fully  embrace as in being the  next generation of  that, or that could  be  oh hell no! , not for me in a million years.  Your  parents could  have  been  lawyers  and you knew  from an early  age that you wanted  to  or was expected to  carry the torch for the family business for the next decades to  come. Much of  it can  be  about  the receiving or rejecting  of something that you may have  been  exposed to  early  on. And regardless of whatever you may have been exposed to, there is much room for,   let’s go in another  direction or the completely  undecided.  This doesn’t have to be all about occupation or careers,  it shows up in other areas as well.  The father of the family may have been  a mean drunk and  you may choose to  be alcohol free all of your days. I  know for myself and my  ex wife,  we were  raised by parents that weren’t  particularly chatty about  life and what to expect. I think it was just the generation,  but  I  knew that  we both wanted to talk  to  our kids about almost anything and wanted them to feel as  if  they  could  bring anything to  us without  fear of  reprisal or  it turning into  something weird, ,and  I  believe that  starts at  an early age of  building trust and  acceptance.  The whole  creating a  safe place. No one will  ever  love your  kids the way that You do, so don’t let outside sources fill the  vacuum.  Dreams!, regardless if  you  had planned on opening a small  business or  if you  had aspirations of being a  CEO of some huge corporation, we all started out somewhere with  a  dream.  I  would  probably venture that less than  twenty-five  percent  of  people  end up , where they  dreamed that  they  would be.  Now, don’t  take that as a bad thing,  sometimes  life  just  brings about a change  in direction of something that we didn’t  see , think about or imagine,  as in being for us. There will  always be  people who have  shattered dreams,  as in they wanted  to be this or that, and for whatever  reason,  it just  didn’t  happen.  There is also the  person who  looked at corporate  America and  thought that  being the king  or queen  of the  hill or mountain would  be  the greatest  thing  ever,, then they  discovered the beauty of  motherhood,  and  never  thought  it could be  so rewarding.  I  know of college  buddies who  sometimes make packs together to do certain  things in life  together and  they  find  out that it can  be  a  little bit  more  difficult than  just  making  sure that  they  all ended  up  at the same  college,  or in the same dorm together.  And  then  there is my  brother,  who  planned out his entire  life ,as in married  by this age, children  by this  age and  being  partner in  the  firm by a certain  age, talk about  exhausting and  so much  undo pressure.  I’ve seen  it done, and sometimes well ,but  what happens when  life does what it does? I am by no means saying  not to have  goals in life. I  believe that  goals and contingency plans are  an absolute  must in life.  I talked  earlier about the  two  different  sides of  being  forty. I  think  that  there is  a time in life when we are all about it  as in being  young  and having  will  power to pursue  certain things in life, and to assert our will  at a particular  time and place.  Perhaps if we are lucky, fortunate,  or God’s face shining upon us and we find ourselves in  the  the twenty-five  percent who can  say ,yes this  is the life that I had planned out for myself.  We trusted in ourselves and  our  abilities , but still that  only carries  us so far, because  it’s about  more than the  type of car we drive,  or what zip code we find ourselves residing  in.  I think  for a lot of us,, we wake up one day, stand in front of a  mirror and  barely  recognize the  person who you have become, and you  ask that question,  ” what happened to  me”?  I mean  we didn’t  start out as fat, bald, wrinkles,  age spots, loose skin and  creaky joints and ,,everything the opposite of  youthful.  Yes, father time is undefeated and  we all age, if we are blessed with  enough years for that to occur . I  believe that for most of us  there is a reckoning,  where we become  more  aware and  perhaps view life on a grander scale.  I  want to  say that our priorities and  objectives change,  instead of  it being  about  acquiring  stuff,  it becomes about  legacy,  as in what am I  leaving  behind.  Now ,if you are still  on the page about  wealth and  estate stuff, then  you  can  just  stop reading  now, because we are clearly  on two  different  planets. ☺️☺️. I  think that we have  to put all of the rest of it aside and  be thinking about  did we live a good life, regardless of  where  we  ended up in  life and  on the social economic scale. Did we serve others and did we do it well and  without  selfish motives. I  think a lot of the second  half of forty , is where God  has  finally  chipped  away enough  of the rough edges, so that  we can  be used by Him and for greater things that  we couldn’t even  see on the first  forty.  It’s like  God is the GPS and He is Recalculating our position,  from  what we wanted to  what is truly  best. Maybe  after  running the  gauntlet of  life,  we may want to  submit to what His plan  is for us, oh! ,and by the  way this is where we become aware   of all of the painful and unnecessary detours we took in life, become so  apparent to us.  This may  very  well be why and when  we see that some of those dreams and  plans  that we had didn’t work out.  Have  you ever  given thought that you were created because you are the only person In the world that could  be  a parent to your  child and that they were created to  be  just the  special kid for you. No one  else on the face of the planet could  do that  job, and  regardless of  how  bad you think that you  did ,that you  messed up  or fail short as a parent,  that you  did  everything exactly that  you  were supposed to.  It may sound a  little  crazy, but God works  in  those   details and  intricacies.  I  know that  there are the lost dreams and  sometimes  hopes, but I  believe that  God redeems all of that. We  may  have  seen  ourselves on a different  plain in life and  we may even think  that  someone else  is  living  our best  life  for  us ☺️☺️,,but nothing could be further from the truth Now, I  think  we should  address the  person that  you are seeing in the mirror,  that has you asking that question, ” what happened to me ” . Often times In life, we are thrown a curve ball that we didn’t  see  coming and it can take on many  forms,  such as a health issue,  like it did for my baby sister,  who was struck with  MS at twenty- one, just as she was graduating college.  It could  be a  special  needs child  that  was born to You and  Your  spouse,  that has you rearranging your priorities and your  entire life,  or something unexpected with  a parent or  sibling that you  have  to address,  but what I hear more times than  not  is about a bad pairing  in the bonds of matrimony.  This is what took down  my  friend in  Florida ,and  it gets a lot of us off track and off into a  Ditch. In marriage,  sometimes  we  grow together,  sometimes  we  grow apart, and  sometimes  we  completely  loose ourselves and  not in the good way. I know,  I know, when  is ever a good way? . Well  if you  have  never  lost  yourself to someone  in the throws of love making,  then  you  should  seriously  ask  for a  refund ☺️☺️,,but I digress. Seriously,  we sometimes  allow ourselves to  be manipulated and  controlled by a partner,  again  not in a good way ☺️☺️, but this distortion of love is exactly  that, a counterfeit and the contrary difference of all that love should be, and  to inspire the best for your mate, as in thinking of them  before  your own  selfish needs. I  constantly  hear women talking  about  narcissist or being  gas lighted. I’m not going  to  play  devil’s  advocate or try to excuse  bad behavior here , but often   we do  a poor job  in the screening  process to see what we are really  getting ourselves into,  which  goes to prove  that  love is indeed  blind☺️☺️.  We may find  ourselves  in  the  story of the good Samaritan,  only we are the one in the Ditch,  left for half dead. I  want  to  tell  you that as long as You still  draw breath in your  lungs, that the story is  still  incomplete and  not done yet. I  know  that some of you have  spent  twenty,   twenty-five  , even  thirty  years  or better  in a bad or dysfunctional marriage,  but there is still  life out there if you wish  to pursue  it.  Lots of people re-event themselves and  start their  dream  job later in life, and  God is really  good  about  giving us a fresh  perspective and sometimes a new and improved dream,  or purpose in life. I’m not sure that  God  calling Moses out at eighty years old  would  qualify  as a dream  job,  but it most definitely gave  him a new purpose in life.☺️ I think  that  after  raising  kids and chasing after  life pursuits as to whatever  we deemed important at the time , there is  still  time  and  space  to find love and give  love, and  don’t  close  yourself  off, by thinking that  it has to be the romantic  kind. You could  love mentoring  youth or working  with  animals or a shelter,  or a crisis  pregnancy center,  there are  just  tons of opportunities to  be used by  God and  to bring  fulfillment to  your  life.  There is always  option  “B”,, where we just raise the white flag,  and there are  frozen  TV dinners and Jeopardy in the recliner,  sounds  really  exciting and inviting, not so much! As ,we depart today,  I want  to  challenge you with , perhaps  whatever  it  is  that  happened  to  you,  was part of a greater  plan  to shape and refocus  your thinking about  certain  things, and in God’s economy,  it’s  training  where you can  now come along  side  and relate to  someone else who is walking  where you have  already been.  It’s all about the bridges that we build,  so that  we can  earn the right to ask  certain questions and  to  share  certain things  or people,  I believe  that  some  of  you know a King  who would  just  love an introduction into  some of the lives  of  people that You know.
• Till Next Time ✌️  Peace!
• Sandy The  Southerner

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