” Once In A Lifetime “

• Not The Only One!
• Post# 70
• 16  Mar 23
• ” Once In A Lifetime “
• Howdy!
• Thank you for being  there. I  sometimes  sit down to write and it can  be a little bit  of an adventure and  that may be because I don’t  have an editor,  which I  could desperately use  as some of you wonderful  people have  brought to  my attention. ☺️☺️. There are other times when I  feel  compelled and it just  flows  out of me, much like sweat on a hot summer’s day, or a woman in  menopause if you prefer ☺️☺️. And perhaps my favorite is  when I  sit down and  think that I know  what I’m going to  share, and  the end results looks nothing  like the game  plan  going in, and  we will  call  that one spirit lead. Sometimes I  share some of my  unusual  life experiences and  stories,  and  sometimes  other  people’s,  such  as in  “Songbird ” or in  ” The  Chicken  or  The  Egg “.  This post came at me from  a  varied number of  direction as you may  be  able to  tell, but it  seemed to be from  polar  opposite,  one being  death, and  the  other  being  love. This forum,  the blog,  has allowed me  to  be in touch  with  a large  variety of  people,  and  now from all over the planet.  They have so many  different  backgrounds and  education levels that  sometimes it strikes me as odd. The one  thing I  have  observed is  that  I  don’t have  many  men who  subscribed to  the  blog,  very few,  my audience is  overwhelmingly  female,  and  I  don’t know  if that is content related  or men not liking emotional drama , which  would  still  speak to  content or what. Anyhow,  I  have a reader in Australia,  which I  have  mentioned  before and  she is in the process of  loosing her  father,  bone cancer,  I’m told very  painful way to go.  She brought these two  topics together for me with  death and love. She is mourning  her  beloved father and  he has not yet passed. They  live  some distance apart,  I’ve been  trying to  encourage her to take some  leave and  spend time with  her dad, and  try to make  some  wonderful  memories  on this side of eternity to hold her over,  and  something that would stay with her  for the rest of  her days. I’m going to  come back to  this at the end of  the  post,  but I  want to  attack this from  another  angle.  There is nothing  like  being  young and impressionable.  Most of us probably remember our first  real  encounter with  love on a romantic  level.  If  you  know the artist Betty Wright,  she did  a killer rendition of this called ” Tonight  is the Night “. Well  she was referring to  a  first sexual experience,  I’m just  maybe talking  more about  the heart  side of things.  I know  for myself,  that some of the media that I  engaged in  ,helped  play a part  in my  mind set as to what that love was supposed to  be or look like.  Again, young and impressionable, so, there were Elvis Presley  movies,  or the casual  encounters of James Bond. This  was Hollywood and  they  do often  affect our thinking about what love  should look like and  they  are usually way off base, but they do tell a story,  and we often  buy into  it. There was this  one that had a profound  impact on  me and  I  didn’t  completely understand or get  it at the time,  but some how it resonated with me and  shall  we say just stuck in my craw. I can’t  remember exactly  how  old I  was or what year the movie came  out.  The movie  was  called “A Love Story “. It stared Ryan  O’Neill and  Ali MacGraw, I think.  They  were young  college  students and  one of them  were from  old money and the other  more a commoner, you know  the blue collar type.  They  fell in love and with  opposition from  the  old money people. Any way,  she becomes deathly  ill , but his steadfastness in love towards her , hit me hard. In my young  life  that was probably  the  first time  that it occurred to  me  that  you don’t   leave your partner  ….NO matter what! Now I don’t  know  if that is  an oxymoron or  if that just  makes me a moron, because I did forget that lesson and  I  have  identified as  someone who has been  married more than once. And one of the more troubling or complexities of  this is that we often  have  great  obstacles  in our way to be together, just like in the movie and  then  we just  throw  it all away,  completely  forgetting what it took for us to be a couple in the first place.  Any Top Gun  fans out there, this is your  wingman or woman,  and you are suppose to cover one another’s  six. As,  I  said  where  I  was  at the  time,  it really  hit me hard, especially when  she dies, oh! , was I supposed to  say spoiler alert☺️☺️. Let’s fast forward as I  often  like to say, and  I hear and have read probably  thousands of  profiles over the last decade or  so  , and I  keep  hearing  women talking about their  soul mates. I  don’t  know  if such a  thing  exists or not and it doesn’t  matter what I  believe or think  about it  ,because they  obviously  do. I don’t  want to  get  into to all of the  intricacies of that , but look  at it from the  reverse angle and  that would  be the countless people  who  I have  encountered who have actually  loss  spouses and  believe that there deceit  partner was a once in a lifetime love. They  are  so convinced that  they  don’t  and will  not try to recapture the  lighting in a bottle.  There are no perfect  people or  perfect  relationships,  but it was their  perfect for them and  that is  what it is all about.  If and just  if they believe that was the only  possible  person  for them  ever created specifically for them  on a planet,  of more than  eight  billion people,  then perhaps soul mates is  a thing. I’m not always  sure why they think  that  person should  be  within a  hundred  miles of  them,  but  maybe that is something for us to get into down the road .I  know that we don’t  stay tied to people  for a life time  as in with  pass generations, now whether if that’s because  people  bale at the first  sign of trouble or just  think that life is to short to have to work at something  so hard, and of course there is that percentage of  people who are in abusive , in  dangerous,  or otherwise  harmful  situations.  It  does point to  a  change in  our culture,  which  has had ripple  effects across  multiple  generations.  I don’t  necessarily believe that  life was simpler back then,, in many  ways  just  quite the opposite  was true, but we have  more  things to  draw us away from putting in  the hard work to make  a  relationship work.  And as I stated in  my last outing,  we now have to add In what  other  people  think about  our relationship and  the success there of. So, in addition to  social media and  out of control hobbies,  comparisons also  plays a part.  There is something that  is  so rare and pure about  a once in a lifetime love.  It’s like being at Pike’s Peak or some other place where you  are at a high altitude and the air is so thin, clear and clean,  it’s just not your everyday  smog infested atmosphere. We see this sometimes in nature,  where animals will  pair up for a lifetime until  one or the other  is no more, like mallard ducks. I  know that we don’t like to  admit it, but much  of our culture  resembles  white tail deer,  which  are not monogamous at all, but  something  more suited for “Tender”, or one of the other  many hook up apps out there. It’s not uncommon to  see once in a lifetime love in other  forms  of  relationships.  I  will fire the disclaimer across the  bow and  just  concede that  everyone  didn’t  have  the  best home life, but for the most part , no one will  ever  love you  like  your  mom, or some  other  parental figure.  Again  for the most of us, outside of  a relationship with God, you will  never  really  ever  experience that unconditional love,  of no matter what , and remember,  if you expect for them to  love you back,  then,  it’s conditional.  My friend in  Australia drew me back to  another  time in my life.  I  have from  time to time made references to my grandfather and how close we were. He loved me unconditionally and I  never had one single  doubt about that ever. Well , he passed away  when I was  twenty-four years old,  and I  was un consolable at his death,  felt as if I had lost my best friend in the world.  Yes,  he spoiled me  rotten,  he always carried butter rum  butterscotch  in his pocket ☺️☺️. He was the one who would  encourage me  to do big things  in life, he was also the one who made things better after  my uncles  beat my tale for snitching on them , or after  my grandmother had wailed the tar out of me, remember a good tandem  always  has a  good  disciplinarian to off set the fun one☺️☺️.  By today’s standards  he was fairly young when  he died,  he was seventy-six years old.  If you  have  been  with me  for  a  while  then  you  know  how I feel about  funerals   I did write a post about it,  so maybe  worth  hitting the  archives for it.  I  remember the day of his funeral,  just like it was yesterday,  it was a hot July  day, and  it  was way to hot for all of the fancy duds, but that is how it went down.  When  I  say un consolable,  you  would have  thought that  I  would  have  crawled in the box with him, that is how much I  loved him. Yes, extremely  over dramatic and a   lost that my heart was just  not ready for . Well that was over thirty-five years ago and  much has transpired since  that scorching day in the dead of summer.  See, this is where  my friend  in Australia is now  and where I  was all of those years ago. She doesn’t  understand that there is a certain  beauty that comes along with  death.  I’m not being  morbid , sarcastic or flipped about it,  because the pain and  loss is very  real and  painful,  and  we all greave  differently and  at our own  pace.  I can’t  tell  you  how many  times that  I  went  past my grandparents house, after he passed, just  expecting to  see  him. I mean  no disrespect and I  am by no means trying to  trivialize or make  light of anyone’s  pain and or loss.  The point I’m trying to  make and that I didn’t  fully  comprehend all those years ago,  is that for all who have  hope  in the resurrection of  Jesus  Christ,  you get to  see those love one’s again.  I  can  barely  contain  myself of seeing  my grandmother  again  without  a switch in her hand☺️☺️. We all have  seen  or known of someone  who  was suffering in  some way,  and when  they  passed, we thought it  merciful and a blessing that the suffering had come to an end. My baby sister,  definitely  fell into that category. I  have  a first  cousin, who is a funeral director and  he often makes  comments about  the difference  between  those who  have a  relationship with  God, and those  who  loose love ones without  hope.  It is a sad state and an unnecessary one as well.  The Word of  God  says  that  Christ died once for “ALL”.  As I  tried to  share with  my friend some sixteen hundred miles away,  it is a free gift that God offers to us, but it does  you absolutely no good ,if you never  receive it  or accept it. When you  die, it is supposed to  be  a party,  a celebration of  going  home.  I think for many and myself included we put way too  much  stock in  the  the things that  we  can see, touch,  taste and  feel,  but this is a feeble existence at best and it   is not our home. Am I  afraid to  die, absolutely  not, do I want it to be painful or drawn out, absolutely not, but that is not my call. I wish  that everyone  understood this and  accepted  God’s free gift,  but I  know  of and have  met way to many  people who  are  trusting in  themselves and  their  own  good works  to get themselves to  heaven , and  all I can  say  is in a Dr. PHIL  voice   is ” Good Luck With  That “.  I  don’t  want  to  get churchy or preachy, but this is  something that  you know  in your own  heart  unequivocally or not. It’s not supposed  to  be  a I hope so, or think so, but you definitely  know for certain,  beyond the  shadow of any doubt  what so ever. Do you  want  your kids to wonder about  if you love them  or not,  probably not  so  much! The Word of God says that  there  is no greater  love than to lay down one’s life for a friend.  Christ laid down  His life,  for all of us , so that we could  be friends with  God, but more  significantly,  His kids, now talking about a  once in a lifetime love,  there it is  in its purest form. Many are  acquainted with  probably  the most well known scripture verse of all time, and that is John 3 :16, we have  heard, and  never or rarely  given   much thought  to the significance of  one little  piece of scripture,  but it is huge.  It should carry  the gravitas of  the  single  most important thing that  you have  ever  come to understand.  I  may  make this to simple once again,  but its not  supposed to  be complicated,  if it’s for all people.  You  don’t have to  have  PHD to understand God’s  love, just an open and willing  heart.  If you have a shirt,  and you button it  up incorrectly,  where the button is  not in the correct corresponding hole, then  all of  the other  buttons are  going to be  off as well.  Many times we go through  life and  wonder why  things don’t  work  out  with many of our life choices,  when  we  have  them  in  the  wrong order.  Just like that shirt, if you don’t  button it up correctly, then all the buttons are off, and  we do the same in life . We put other  things  first,  before  that relationship with  God, and we wonder, why much of life is sideways.  Am I  telling you  that  a relationship with   God will make your  life  smooth sailing,? Absolutely  not, actually just the opposite of that ,but it does help you to sometimes  understand the  craziness of  this world and put things in there proper place or perspective.  We all believe something,  even  Atheist believe something In there vileness that there is no God, that is a belief system that  one day, they  will  have a  change  of heart about.  So, this is  where  the rubber meets the road again,  is what you believe, something  that you would  stake your eternal  future  on? If you  completely understood what God has done for you and what He is offering,  you would  be  running to accept it  and  telling  everyone that you know about a free and  marvelous free gift. When my love one’s  depart or even when I’m on deck  as in next up, I  don’t want  people to be distraught and kicking and screaming over my demise,  much like a child being  drug from  a  candy store,  but to have  confidence that  they  will  be seen again and  that all of the struggles of this life are over. I  always  feel as  if  I  need to  encourage you  guys  to  give follow up on  things  that  I  may  say, that may not  be  completely to your understanding.  If  you have questions,  don’t  be shy, remember the only  dumb question is the  one  that  you don’t ask and still  have  no answer for.
• Till Next Time ✌️ Peace!
• Sandy The Southerner!

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