Howdy and once again thank you for stopping by. I mentioned a few post ago about, flying to Florida to visit my daughter and her family. They have a rising high school freshman and a pair of five year old. When I first arrived all of three of the boys were vying for my attention. They each wanted to show me their unique skill set, as to whether it was climbing up on something that they had no business climbing on, or racing one of the dogs across the lawn. There were no shortages of cannon balls in the pool, or made up obstacles courses in the house. Even the fourteen year old, played his guitar for me, and showed me his dream muscle car that he was hoping to get to restore some day. Well you may think, that this is all very normal behavior and just usual family fun, and you would be correct. After a while, it becomes watching the animals at the zoo in their natural, or native environment, or should I say habitat ☺️. Yes, after while the newness of my visit wears off, and it gets to the usual free for all. Ok, so now you are wondering what that looks like and how it is different from the other. Well on the surface, not much, just the usual kid stuff. The teenager not listening, or doing a great job of selective listening, I guess he is preparing for having a wife someday ☺️. Those chores are actually just a suggestion, …who knew.! The two five year Old have the classic sibling rivalry thing going on in blast. The winning thing about who got what, who did what, or who hit whom and for what reason. Sometimes I loose focus and I can’t remember if my daughter is a mom, or a referee. And of course she has her moments of trying to decipher through all of the noise and confusion, where she is just judge and jury, and she is handing down a decision that most times, all will not be happy with. Laying down the law is just often part of keeping the peace. I am not complaining or having a big laugh at her and her husband’s expense. I believe they over all, do a great job and they support one another on a level that is pretty impressive. They have each other’s back , and they are patient with each other, as they are with the kids. I will go on the record and say that I think my son in law is a rock star. Every since I first met him, he has had a certain fascination with Superman, and as time continues on and the kids get bigger, I’m beginning to see the resemblance. The title of this post, may have had you thinking about fire and policemen, paramedic and the sorts, so perhaps a little misleading, but you have to remember who’s brain you are dealing with. If it helps you any to reconcile the two, they are constantly putting out fires, hopefully not the littoral kind, policing fights between the younger two, and all sorts of paramedic responsibilities from dispensing band aids to kissing boo boos. I have spent a whole week with them watching their kids do all of the same things my kids did when they were that age, but my response and reaction is completely different now. Why??, because I’m not the first responder,…there it is!!! I remember the frustrations of having a very bright and intelligent teenager, who just couldn’t seem to remember to turn in homework assignments, or having no idea as to what deodorant is after a shower ☺️. I also remember talking to them until blue in the face about the same things over and over again. I remember countless questions about the where abouts of clothing, school books, keys, and whatnots as if it was me going to school, or my own personal wardrobe in question. I remember assigning specific chores, with a very specific time frame, met with, did you mean today, this week, or this moment, because I was thinking anytime before I left for college would be good☺️. My teenage grandson is rapidly checking off all of the same boxes, that my son did when he was that age. The difference now is , it’s not a direct reflection on my parenting skills, well it is, but it isn’t at the same time. If I have done a some what adequate job of raising my daughter, then she should be equipped on some level to handle parenthood, based on modeling and hopefully able to sidestep some of the things that her mother and I stumbled over. I know that it is a little bit more complicated than that, but hopefully with a great partner and a whole lot of prayer, they will survive and endure. So there is a little over nine years between the oldest and the second wave and as to be expected, the issues with the younger ones are on a whole different level. They are much more likely to jump out of the car and run through the parking lot, with no regards for cars using them as a potential speed bump. They are really quick and sneaky, especially when they are getting into something that they have no business doing, such as being in their older brother’s room, messing with model planes and things that he has invested hours into and they think that it would be a great chew toy for the dogs. My daughter is doing her best efforts of home schooling them, getting them ready for public school. On some days that can be quite the chore, or an adventure if you want to keep it positive . There is sometimes fits of rage on both sides, as the boys would much rather go outside and play. See, now I’m encouraged by that, because I know kids don’t necessarily go outside or want to go outside and play. I don’t know what age that flips, but at least they got a great start at wanting sunshine and fresh air. My daughter has a college degree in early childhood education and was a teacher and administrator at a Montessori school before covid hit, but is now doing the stay at home mom thing. The fits of rage on her behalf is mostly frustration as she is fully aware of her responsibility to the next generation and as to will they be successful in life. And success for her is measured in being good human beings and contributing to society and not be takers. I know for her, it’s not measured in financial success, but more as to if they will become good husband’s and fathers themselves some day. I remember some time back, before I actually had grandchildren and people talking about what a fun job it is, and they were correct. I will stop and pause for a moment and make mention that I know in some situations, for whatever circumstances befell them that some grandparents out there are doing the job of the first Responders. Life doesn’t always play fair or turn out as if we wish or hope for, and there are a galaxy of reasons why grandparents are sometimes raising their grandchildren. If by chance you know of certain individuals who fall in this category, offer them a helping hand if you can, I’m sure that they would appreciate it. There is no need to be super creative, take them for a meal or offer to take the kids to the park, if appropriate, so that they can have some alone time, or accomplish something that might be difficult for them to do with the kids. Raising kids in this day and age is extremely challenging, and often can leave parents wondering if they are making wise choices about activities away from school. There is just so much out there now days, and what is best for your kids and their personality type. When I was a kid, things just seemed simpler or less complicated, you were either a jock or a nerd, and please don’t be offended by that. The nerds were the smart kids that did everything else, whether it was the arts, chess club, or lead the debate team, and I am by no means implying that jocks didn’t do some of the same things, it was just about what the preference for which title you would be known by and for some reason, back in the day, the title nerd came with a stigma. I think now days nerds can be anything from super sexy to super geeky. Again, I digress, but there is just such a huge variety of choices out there for parents today, and the things that you choose to or not to, expose your offspring to can sometimes carry monumental impacts into the future. This can be such a broad range from your child being the next Michael Jordan to an awesome concert pianist, and a thousand other things in between. Ok, let’s get back on topic. I love being a grandparent, it’s probably one of the coolest jobs that I’ve ever had, and it comes with a five star rating, highly recommended. I will confess that, not being the first responder, is a huge draw, and a major perk. Come on! Admit it, regardless of your parenting quest ,and how well your kids may have turned out, you don’t want to go back and relive that process over again. Little boys can be like dogs sometimes and every new venue, is a potential place that they need to mark their territory. And of course that means, that they can’t just go into the restroom without wanting to touch everything and I mean everything! Little girls are another whole story all together with their constant inquisition and not realizing that certain questions shouldn’t be asked at certain times, in front of certain people. Yes , the extra words start at an early age. I would liking the whole parenting experience to boot camp, it’s something that once you have been through it, you have no desire to repeat that process. Life can be so unfair at times, and many of our complaints in life are actually blessing in disguise . I actually can’t think of any decent parent , that can ever imagine their life without their kids. Once you have them, they are a major blessing in your life, and yes it comes with its challenges. We complain about the work and the sometimes frustrations, with our children, but their are countless thousands of couples who would desperately love to be parent and can not for one reason or the other, and no, it’s not fair, but that is just the way that life comes at us sometimes. I will selfishly applaud my daughter and my son in law for rolling up their sleeves and grappling with all that the culture, the world, and the selfish inclination that their kids throw at them . They try and make them productive members of society and to remember that its not always about them. All parents that try to train their children to do the right and responsible things in life, instead of leaving it up to the schools or some other exterior force, deserve all of the encouragement and praise that we can muster and bestow upon them. First Responders have the awesome responsibility for training the next generation of leaders, thinkers , inventors, and innovators. As we look at the ever growing problems on the world stage, we need to be raising fearless kids, because the world is a very cold place at times, and as we all know, it’s not a cake walk. Sometimes people inspire to be or become something amazing such as prime minister, or president, or maybe even a CEO of some huge corporation, or possibly a non-profit to feel better about themselves, but let me just say that being a grandparent out ranks all of those choices, and there is probably nothing more important than leaving a legacy behind. I have the most amazing and warm heart felt memories of my grandparents, even though they have both been gone for many years. Ok, closing thought, we live in a time when all most everyone is searching for more. More this and more of that , and it varies from person to person. Some of us remember growing up without very much or having the coolest whatever . There for we have strived to make sure that our kids and grandchildren have more than we did when we growing up. There is nothing invariably wrong with that, but just let me encourage you to give them more of you, more of yourself, because at the end of the day, they won’t remember what you gave them for Christmas or that gift for their 10th birthday, but the memories of you making them pancakes, or rolling around on the floor with them, will last long after you leave the planet and that my dear, is your legacy.
