Welcome once again to NTOO. I have often made references to walking in someone’s else’s shoes I recently had the opportunity to train someone at work to do my job. Training is not something that I usually take part in for a number of reasons, most of them selfish in nature. First of all, my job doesn’t compensate me for it, and it usually takes up more of my time than I’m willing to part with. There is also the fact that I don’t enjoy sharing my personal space, unless it is with a special someone of my liking, or choosing. I also think about the impression that I make on someone, as to the extent to whether they will follow trough with what I have shared with them, or if they are a complete idiot and make me look bad as in instructing them in all of my bad habits :). There may be a few other concerns, but those are the main ones that come to mind. Ok, so this isn’t something that I do often and to be honest, I have a little bit of a bad reputation in this area, because the last time that I did do it, it was a complete and utter failure, not so much on my part as it was with the candidate that the company had selected. I mean it’s not the company’s fault, but the day and age with which we find ourselves. They are forced to give them an opportunity, just to avoid possible litigation. So if they are remotely qualified, they give them a shot, regardless of their gut telling them that this will not be a good fit, for either them or the potential suspect. This is straight up my opinion based on what I have seen and experienced. I call them suspects, just like the cops use as to if they truly want to work, or if they are just trying to extend those unemployment benefits . I know that sounds cynical and uninspiring, but its just the way it is amongst many quitting jobs for just any old reason. The last guy that I trained had no inspiration to learn anything except when was his next cigarette break was going occur. He was one these people who had been around the block a few times and he knew everything. However, when they turned him loose on his own, he was a complete and utter failure, and I believe that course lasted about two weeks, and that took place at the height of the pandemic. So lets talk about my new, or most recent suspect to which I found myself paired with. I , in my recent nor long term memory can ever remember encountering someone with so much negative energy. I mean it was just dripping off of him, onto anyone that he came into contact with. This dude had talent, I mean he could take anything and everything and put a negative twist on it. He complained about each and every single little thing. Some of it was just ridiculous, the things that he found annoying and felt that needed a dramatization. So he hit all of the check points, he was a complainer, he wined, a generous amount of self pity, accompanied by a nice healthy helping of the blame game ” always someone’s else’s fault “. Reminds me a little bit of my ex wife, now that I think about it :). He reminded me of a cartoon character that appeared on the Flintstones back in the day, I think his name was Sleprock. He was the guy that got Murphy’s law in spades. He had a rain cloud that use to follow him around complete with thunder and lighting. If it could go wrong, then it did with him. My guy, was one of these individuals that got upset over other people drawing breath. I don’t want to make light of his situation, because he was a person with some deep hurts in his life. He had a job , that he said he tolerated, but when they went out of business, he was pissed off about that, and to make it worse, they owed him money from his last pay check or two. He had a woman in his life, whom he professed love for, but for some reason, she decided to move four hours away from him. The more time that I spent with him, it became very obvious to me as to why this poor woman decided to run for the hills. She was probably trying to save herself from a sad saga, that was probably previously unprecedented in her life. Sadly I believe that he was probably dealing with some depression, but way beyond recognizing it or asking for help. I get that people have crisis in their lives, and that things don’t always go according to plan, and boy do I know about that one. The thing that I found the most tormenting about it was I believe it was just his way of viewing life. This is not someone who has had a couple of tough years. You may be wondering how I know that, well it’s because he drug me back to his Jr. High school days and how he was picked on and bullied all through school. So now, you have in mind a weak little guy but not so much ! . He is 6″3”, and 280lbs. , of course his present frame doesn’t tell us what size he was all of those many years ago. He had no reference for being neutral about any event, situation, or circumstance. This goes way past as to whether the glass was half full or not. I think it is his super power to be able to see the negative, or dark side in things. This is the guy who looks at the weather forecast and sees a 5 or 10 percent chance of rain, and thinks to himself, its going to rain all day. He struck me as a person who hadn’t moved past a single solitary hurt or wrong in his life. He just collected them and kept seeking a bigger back pack in which to carry them around in. Ok, a back pack is a little underwhelming for this guy, because he clearly had at least five duffle bags of stuff strapped to his back , and if things don’t change for him soon, he will be adding a wheel barrel to the mix. I don’t believe that I’ve ever encountered someone before that didn’t have one happy moment in their entire existence, this was a first for me. He didn’t have a happy childhood, because his dad had left the home and his mother struggled to raise him and his siblings. A lot of people have absentee fathers and sometimes, they are actually in the home, which makes it just a little extra sad. People do and have overcome a poor childhood. It’s like the word hopeful doesn’t exist for him. He can’t or chooses not to approach anything with a positive outlook. I don’t want to make light of his situation, because I know that there are people who find themselves where he is, and just decide to end it all. In my summation of this, he reminds me of one of those sport franchises , you name it, the ones who have a long history of not winning anything, or even being competitive on a consistent basis. I’m not going to pick one out for you and throw them under the bus, but if you follow sports, you know who they are. In my mind, I just believe that it is the culture, because different coaches and players come and go, and they have had success in other places , but no one seems to be able to turn things around and that is exactly how this guy goes about life , like it’s a bad culture. Now that I’ve painted a rather gloomy picture of this guy, we need to double back to the original question ,have I ever been that guy??, I feel pretty confident, saying absolute not. I’m not telling you that I’m always positive and upbeat, or haven’t thrown the occasional pity party. I have had my moments, just like everyone else. My ex wife said that I had a period of being pretty negative and grumpy, or the whole whoa is me thing. She said that she believed that I was probably in some kind of physical pain, for a surgery that I had put off and wasn’t looking forward to having done. I mean come on, who wants to hear that they need a hip replacement in their mid forties, but again, I did live the younger years at an incredible pace . I probably also had a phase when I could probably be characterized as a pessimist. I don’t know if I want to own that one or not , but I wasn’t a glass half full guy. This is one of these things that has changed with becoming more mature, or older. The perspective is just different once you get past the whole raising the kids, and all that goes with that. I have become some what mellow, in my latter years. I believe as you get older and have more in the rear view mirror, it adds an overall perspective, as to what is important in life. It also, for the most part helps you to not sweat the small things in life. The trick here, is once again is perspective. If you find that the things that you deem or find important are centered around faith, friends, and family, you will probably find yourself more centered and enjoying life more than ever. The other piece of the perspective puzzle is the not sweating the small things in life. I can’t tell you what those things are for you, they will differ from person to person, but if you are still living life at the same frantic pace, as you did when you were in 20s, 30s, and 40s then you may want to sit down, take a deep breath and do a little soul searching or at the minimum , reevaluate your priorities. I’m not going to under exaggerate how hard and busy life can be at times and I will always concede to on going challenges with elderly parents, or perhaps it is a disabled child that you have fears over for when you are no longer around. I know this one thing, and that is life has plenty of drama and disappointments, without us bringing other fun things to the party, such as a negative outlook and the ability to commiserate what may be just around the corner. I get the glass is not always half full, but it shouldn’t always be half empty either l. So I will stand by that I’ve never been that guy, but we all have our days ,and possibly weeks, months and years, but it should not be a way of life, or a lifestyle choice forever.
