Post #6
Fifty, not Fifty-Two
Howdy!
Ok, buckle up, here we go . I must apologize. This blog has began to read like one of those movies that shows you the end first and then begins to bounce around to different parts of the story line, just to see if you can keep up. At the end, there is a twist that you didn’t see coming. I don’t believe that this is anything as intriguing as that, but there has been a little bit of bouncing around. I decided to call this one Fifty and not Fifty- Two because, this was my summation of the LDR at its one year anniversary. Yes, I could have called it bumps in the road but from my perspective, it had been pretty flawless for about fifty weeks, and then the last two, it kinda came off the tracks a little bit. I say pretty flawless,,that doesn’t mean perfect, but from my perspective we were pretty much on the same page with things, which is pretty significant, when you consider people’s backgrounds, upbringing and different life’s experiences. We didn’t fight or have alot of different understanding of things. Some of you maybe thinking that is because we aren’t really together, but you would be shocked about some of the seemingly insignificant things people get wrapped around the axel about. Hopefully this post will fill in some of the cracks and some of the previously undisclosed areas. Can we just be honest here, and say that there are things that you don’t disclose on a first date, unless you are hoping for there not to be a second date. And after you get out of your teens and early twenties, you don’t go on one date and think that I’m going to make babies with this person, well at least not for most of us. You probably wouldn’t go out on a first date and admit that you have six kids and they all have different dads, or baby mommas. A first date killer would also include I have herpies, I’m a convicted killer, or a pedophile, just to name a few. I think if you hit it off with someone, and you have some unfortunate baggage, you look for the right moment or opportunity to enter that in for conversation. And I’m not sure after one date, you could absolutely know that for sure. I think you would pick your time and see where this goes,,if it turns out to be nothing, then you didn’t need to be vulnerable with that person after all. Ok, for me it looks like I was living with two women and one of them i use to be involved with, oh! , and the other one is her eighteen year old daughter. I’d be one of the first to admit that sounds suspect. I also know how we can find ourselves in places that we didn’t intend to be. At the same time, things aren’t always what they look like on the surface, or what the obvious conclusion may be. Yes, this is connected to the previous post. The one that I was involved with found herself unemployed twice, while we were together and then I had a total knee replacement, oh, and just for fun throw all of the covid crap in there as well. I think it would be a real “dick” move to put someone out,, while they were without a job. I know that there are people, who would have had no problem with pulling the trigger on that one, but I’m not one of those people. As I said before, wrong place, wrong time. We were talking about bumps in the road, so ok, a few weeks after that amazing first date, Ms. Annomuis heard, the one I use to be involved with say that she loves me , while we were on the phone one night. It completely blew past me because earlier in the same conversation I unintentionally disclose some negative medical news about myself ,which is also something that is not normally first date material. When Ms. Annomuis brought it to my attention, I denied it because I thought surely that didn’t take place…., but sure enough it had. Again a bump, not a sink hole, but could have very easily been. I had to speak with the former and ask her, what was up with that? We had been to casual with each other, not sexual, but to casual and while we had plans of going our separate ways, we weren’t thinking the same thing. I saw this as a way to expedite myself from some place I should have never been in the first place . And she saw it, as an opportunity that once her kid headed off to college to try and rekindle something that the autopsy had already been completed on. We all have our issues, so I’m not trying to throw her under the bus, but she was just one of those people who was always telling you how much she knew, and if you know it all, no one can tell you anything. So while the plan was for us to separate in June or july , when the kid was done with school, we had to speed things up, so there wouldn’t be further misunderstandings. I could say more, but I think that you have the picture. I didn’t fully get how ridiculous that was until, I saw it on a TV show. And most of us know of , or have heard of couples living together, but couldn’t afford to separate at the immediate moment. And i think for the most part that they were repulsed by one another’s issues, so sex and sleeping together would be out of the question. I will just say that sometimes we can weave a tangled mess!. Moving on, bump number two, this one, I didn’t totally get, but I guess its perspective and a little bit of a double standard, which I’m not a fan of double standards. Ok, so this one plays out like this, Ms. Annomuis was planning to escape the frigid northeast and fly to Florida for a week to visit a couple of friends. She wanted to do a stop over in va. I didn’t think it was a great time for her to be here, while I was working. I relented, but by the time I came over to her camp, it was to late, and I couldn’t convince her to make the stop. I know that she was hurt by it, but that truly wasn’t my intention. There was something else going on at the time as well, I just couldn’t remember what, it may have been all of the drama from the before mentioned situation, which I had just got myself moved on from. Another bump and somehow we survived and became a little stronger as a result of it .This was a double standard because I did the same thing to her when I surprised her for her birthday. She was working and I was alone at her place by myself during the day. I will say this, we had more history together by the time I came up to cook for her. So maybe the moral of the story is to ask for for forgiveness, rather than asking for permission. Little did I know what lay ahead of us for weeks fifty- one and fifty-two.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and there was such a strong intimacy between you, that you knew what the others thoughts were? I’m not just talking about giving one another the wink, hey do you want to go run to the coat closet or bathroom for a quickie. I mean like when you put something out there, that you know what thier thought process was going to be, as well as the possible push back may be. I have such a closeness with this woman that we had a running joke about me having “chick brain “. It wasn’t always reciprocated, and perhaps I rely to much on me being able to read her, or people in general. Whatever the case may be, I really got her. I understood her, and at times I found myself hanging on her every word. Its incredible how much you can learn about someone by just paying attention to them and listening to them. I know for most men, myself included, we struggle with all of the extra details that woman can bring to the table, while exchanging information with us. Some how for me this was different, I wanted all of the details, who knows, possibly another side effect of the LDR. We were just in a zone together, it was kinda like watching Steph Curry drop twenty 3 pointers on you in a game. Well this has been leading up to the third big bump in the road. This one did not only come with a twist in the story line, but it was a double disaster, with betrayal and as if Satan himself was some how involved and wanted to steal my soul. Keep in mind that this is a year down the road from the beginning.
I really want to loose my mind here, but at the same time I’m reminded that we aren’t supposed to return evil for evil. So the former lady that I had lived with and was previously involved with went out of her way to track down Ms. Annomuis , and hatch so many untruths about me, that I thought I was listening to Tokyo Rose, and the propaganda that was asailed at our troops during WWII. This got twisted and sideways in an instance, and I still can’t wrap my mind around it even today. It’ kinda reminds me of most distortions in life, people take a little bit of truth and mix it with alot colorful misrepresentations and formulate thier version of truth. I mentioned Satan earlier and I do believe in him, he knows our weaknesses and limitations. Ms. Annomuis has a predisposition for this because one of her previous gentlemen friends had hurt her in this manner ,by a lack of loyalty in the relationship. Speaking of lack of loyalty, I get a call one night while I’m working, thinking nothing of it because we always talk at night while I’m working, but tonight for some reason, Ms. Annomuis is on the phone with me, but unbenounced to me, the previous wack job is on the line as well. I don’t know what Ms. Annomuis was thinking or who’s idea it was , and what they hoped to accomplish. I’m like really are we in high school or something?. It was very misfortunate, because it forced me to say what I really felt and believed about the one living in disillusionment. It wasn’t pretty and I’m ashamed of all that took place that night. The part that still blows me away is that I thought myself and Ms. Annomuis had gotten to know one another pretty well and I don’t know how she could reconcile those lies, with the person she had known me to be. If one of her previous relationships had come at me that way, I would have clearly told them that they were out of thier cotton picking mind. As far as I know, I don’t own or posse a split personality, and I believe that is the only thing that could accout for a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in this situation. Almost a complete year later, and where has she seen that evidence in our interactions together? I have no idea. My best recollection of our time together, I’ve been nothing but patient ,honorable, kind, generous and a gentleman. I’ve never not taken her calls and for the most part she always knew where I was and what I was doing, so I really don’t get the need and want to believe lies about my character. This one set us back a little bit, if I’m being honest. I’m not the Teflon kid or anything, but when I have done nothing wrong , its just nothing for it to. My concern has been Ms. Annomuis, because it went to the heart of her trust issues, and insecurities. I believe when you love someone, you stick by their side and try to help them in anyway that you can. We have to try to repair this, and hopefully come out stronger on the other side.
Again a little long, so until next time. ✌
Sandy The Southerner
