Hey thanks for checking in again. Sometimes, somethings in life are just so simple, that we just completely miss them or overlook them, or even better yet, take the simple and make it one of the most complex features of life☺️☺️. I say a lot of the times that common sense is something that's going extinct, or we file it away in a cabinet or desk draw marked with the old skull and bones, as if it's hazardous material ☺️. I've on many occasions talked about my love of just watching people and the things that they do.....that's right, I'm a people watcher ☺️. It goes right along with my love for basic psychology. I have to state basic, because much of what goes on in the field of psychology now days , is just straight up wacky, in my not so humble opinion ☺️. We just need to recognize and acknowledge that there is good in bad in every sector of life. Good and bad doctors, good and bad teachers, as long as people are involved, there will always be good and the not so good, so yes good and bad or wacky psychology.
This one came to me as I felt God tapping me on my shoulder, as if I wasn't paying attention to something, that I definitely should have marked as a priority. What was brought to my attention made me think about Muhammad Ali. He was a master back in his day, between his trash talk and his artistry in the ring. As he matured or gotten older, he was known for something called the " rope a dope". He would take body shots from his opponent to lure them into using up their energy and punching power, and when they started to show weakness or fatigue, then he would pour on the power and score the points, if not a knock out. In his younger days he was actually known for his lightening quick jab. It was also a thing of beauty. He would hit you with the jab and then just dance away, waiting for the the next opportunity to land another jab. I believe it might have been Howard Cosell, a famous sports caster of that area, who characterized it as " stick and move". He would stick you with a jab and it would be so quick, that I'm sure many times people would be asking themselves what just happened? ☺️☺️. No!, God didn't tap me on my shoulder about starting a boxing career, but about how sometimes we meet and encounter people who are also masters of the stick and move.
I know!, I'm off in left field again all by my lonesome ☺️. I want to say that its about those "EGRs" that we have previously discussed. Oh!, you know, it's dealing with people , where extra grace is required...."egrs". Sometimes it's like trying to mix oil and water, and regardless of how many times you give it a firm shake, they always return to their neutral corners.☺️ It doesn't always start out like that in relationships, but often there will be some fundamental shift in direction from where we were going together, to where we end up on opposite ends of the couch. I'm not real sure how we get there sometimes of just being antagonistic to one another , but we get really good at it and turn it into something that looks like what Ali use to do to his opponents....stick and move. It's always without a doubt the people who are the closest to us that knows how to push our buttons. They know our flaws, often better than we do, because we are graceful to our selves, but not always so much with our partners.
If I had to guess sometimes, I think that familiarity breeds both complacency and a little contempt. We get use to things being a certain way and then we just take it for granted. Most of our lives comes with some degree of difficulty, be it our jobs, kids and family, health and money issues, and I'm pretty sure that you could add to that list☺️. We just take it for granted that our spouse or partner is going to return home everyday to the nest, but some opt out everyday. Quarrelsome and Knick picky people take a toll on us and they wear us down to a nub , just like a number two pencil with only the eraser left to go☺️☺️ They aren't usually someone that you would want to be bound with for life, and that's Solomon's wisdom talking about that leaky dripping faucet or living on the corner of a roof☺️. It is what it is and people don't usually change that much. It's basically all that they know and they just live for a good scrap. It's there "MO", it's all that they know and it's probably what they were raised with, some kind of dysfunction. It's like being raised in a home with yellers or the sarcastic bunch and then trying to escape it later in life, it requires a bunch of effort, and most just don't ! If you find yourself with someone who's biggest ambition in the relationship is to win an argument, then that's a problem. Arguments in relationships are like the nuclear option, no one really wins. My dearest friend always reminds me that the problem is the problem and not your partner, that's the person who is going to help you figure things out with ☺️☺️
Before we move one, I will say this one last thing about disagreeable people. It's usually a pattern that is represented in all of their relationships, not just personal one's with romantic interest, but with family, work associates and don't be to surprised if they are unhappy with the HOA☺️☺️. It's just their normal, probably goes back to home life when they were younger. Let's talk about the exception, there is always or at least it seems to be an exception. I have a couple that I'm friends with, hell ,they are family. Julie had a little bit of a turbulent time frame in her life, and let's just say a little rough around the edges for a while,and maybe a little bit like a person who might use other people as a punching bag☺️☺️. We often sweep under the carpet those not so good times, especially when they look like something from another lifetime ago. I mean they have nothing to do with how we are living now , but they built a resiliency within us, but just couldn't imagine it for who they are today. It's like a billionaire telling you that he use to live out of his car, or a reform drug addict being your state senator. The shoe fits, it was just so long ago. I believe that Julie would give ultimate credit to God for doing a work in her life, but she also credits her husband, who she said just loved her through it all. Quitting just wasn't an option, and I sometimes wonder if that's what's missing and the difference maker for the stick and move people, just a lack of genuine love. Love is just so powerful and it leaves a huge crater, when absent from the mix. They are a true success story, it wasn't easy, but there is a difference between someone really wanting to be a part of something bigger than themselves and someone who just wants to bicker, debate and feel powerful by winning arguments.
Still there is something to be said for being valued in a relationship, which means that you are heard, and the other person let's you express how you feel and what you think about a particular thing, and yes that sometimes means that we have to agree to disagree. Depending on what it is, it's not the end of the world, after all, you are supposed to compliment one another, not be the other's clone....I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with myself or date me...I'm just saying ☺️☺️. Maybe the ultimate acid test is after some specified period of time, given the option, would you still pick the same person, sometime later down the road? Talking about being valued, sometimes it's the little things that tells us the biggest stories, for instance, how do you refer to your significant other. Do you have a cute pet name for them? Is it something cute and quirky, or is it something that would lead others to believe that this person is more of a mortal enemy , more so than someone that you confessed your undying love to? Do you refer to them in derogatory terms such as stupid , dumb or calling them and idiot or even something worse than that? Do you take shots at physical appearance, such as weight or slouchness of dress? Just in case you have been living under a rock somewhere or taking one of Trump's motivational speaking classes ☺️, those aren't terms of endearment ☺️
What comes to mind if someone has the Darth Vader theme song as the ring tone for their wife? How about if your pet ranks higher than your partner? You know they usually live longer than a cat or dog...I'm just saying ☺️☺️. Capital One ask the question, what's in your wallet, I ask the question, who's on your screen saver? What do you want other people to know about your partner and how you appreciate them or see them? It's either encouraging and edifying or it's loom and doom and maybe gloomy as well . There is no middle ground, that just means that it's on auto pilot about to crash and burn or waiting to die. We know that what we don't care for and nurture, left to it's own will become in disrepair and eventually give up the ghost☺️☺️. While we are checking to see what's in our wallets, how about what's in our hearts? Where are we with our walk with God...are we growing or regressing, stagnate and luke warm. I guess that's a why question or a how come question. Why aren't we growing in our relationship with God? Why on earth would it ever be stagnant or regressing? We can't ever out grow God, we can't ever get to the point where we say that we know all that we need to know about God, that is unless we are shaking a defiant fist towards heaven and that to be our " final answer " . Its OK, if that's Your stance and position on God, but its so much more than just missing the cruise ship, but the option of the sinking trawler is not going to get you to any place that you would wish to be ☺️ Take my word for it, I'm a thirty- five plus year novice ☺️☺️ There is always a deeper understanding and meaning behind what we think that we know. It's the intimacy that should just keep dragging us back to want to spend more and more time with God, because He is just that personal and personable. His heart aches for us to spend time with Him and ours should just ache, when we don't do that. If you are a Sunday only person, then you are just missing out , and actually malnourished spiritually . If we take and look at everything, every dicision and word uttered from our lips either brings us closer to God or moves us just a little further away from God. . Abraham and David and others walked with GOD and never ever knew Him completely or fully. Twentieth century God warriors, like Dr. King , and Billy Graham, never knew all there was to know about God, so again I ask the question, where are you with God ? and are you growing in your intimacy and knowledge of who He is?
I want to turn this on its head, just simply because of who I am.☺️☺️ I think that this all started with me being reminded about tieing myself to difficult people who just love a good argument. Their ability to drop bombs and just walk away and never really being interested in harmony or some kind of middle ground, but the climax for them is to clinch their fist and hold tightly to their non-negotiables and to be able to raise their hands above their head as a sign of victory. It's all good when we bully the ones who seek to encourage us, grow us and even to love us, but the victory is a sums zero loss. Yet!, I feel empowered and invigorate it because I won the argument. How does that go again? Oh yeah!, won the battle and lost the war☺️☺️. People can be so funny in their dysfunction and so can I, in mine☺️
I often, way to often find myself in a place of lacking grace with others. I'm not proud of that, it's just a truthful reality. If I'm being honest, I think that I'm even guilty of being a stick and move person with God. I'm nothing special, so I can be a grumbler with God over things that are actually huge blessings in my life. I'm not nieve enough to think that I can hide things from God, when all of my days were laid out before Him, even before I was born, but I do possess the amazing ability to loose sight of that at times ☺️☺️. Just in case you are wondering I can be extremely persuasive when I want to be . I talk about my son's ability to debate and wanting to split hairs, and I hate to admit it, but it's one of those tree - fruit things ☺️☺️. That being said, in all of my days, years or however You want to put it, I've never, not once won an argument with God. There's that old saying that my arms are to short to box with God, and is that ever true ☺️☺️
My talks / arguments/ disagreements with God aren't always short, because just like the spoiled brat that I am, I think that I'm going to somehow wear Him down and get Him to change His mind ☺️☺️. As I just said, never has happened and never will because God is not fickle as we all are. What does almost always does happen is me having a change in direction, heart or perspective and sometimes all three. It's only almost, because sometimes I'm just a brat and not willing to receive it. I don't know about you, but for me I get up and expect to hear something from God , and it's not always what I want to hear or receive ☺️. It can be some marching orders that I really want to mutiny against for whatever reason, and it's because God is usually putting his finger on some flaw, or short coming that I need to improve in. It could be about being more generous or about some area of service, which aren't usually a problem, but being patient, humble and less selfish can be more like pulling teeth☺️☺️
I'm not sure if this is what the Bible meant about working out our salvation with fear and trembling, but I do sometimes feel as if I wrestle with God and the things that He says, like loving enemies and then doubling down on it and commanding us to pray for them to....who's running to do that one?☺️☺️. It just kind of goes to remind me that God never said that it was going to be easy, He just said that He would be with us through it all, and if you think that you can love difficult people and pray for them in your own power....good luck with that one there!!☺️☺️. Every day is a battle on some front. We battle to do the right things even when its hard , and knowing that it's going to cost us something. We battle to not to retaliate when people aren't kind or just down right rude, you know what it's like to be in traffic and the flying bird! I just want to break that finger off, but I can't go there☺️☺️. Christians aren't perfect people, just forgiven people, so maybe your battle is a bottle, a needle or a computer screen or that light in the refrigerator going on and off to much☺️, and again God says through it all, never forsaken or abandoned . I'm going to close this one today with just looking into the mirror and making sure that I'm not that difficult stick and move person, when I know that I have been and can be. God has supreme power over the jab and the " rope a dope ", regardless of which side of the argument that you find yourself on.
