Howdy, Hey thanks for checking in again. Lets pretend that we are playing who's line is it anyway☺️ . This game maybe a little sad for some , with myself included. We live in a climate of political unrest an upheaval. I sometimes wonder if it's because we are to busy yelling and screaming at one another, that, we never listen and hear what the other side actually has to say. I completely understand that whatever you have to say is way more important than anything, that could ever utter from the lips on the other side ☺️☺️. I don't for one second believe that is true, but I do think that we believe that in a heated battle of words. The point is if we can't pause and listen to the other side, then there will continue to be division and very little hope for common ground.
I was wondering if there has ever been a time , when you actually stopped and listen to someone's perspective that you didn't initially agree with, but after careful consideration of what they were actually presenting, that you had a change of heart and mind about it? Throw away all of your talking points and your propaganda, and just truly listened and carefully examine the evidence. Here is a little bonus material for you. If you have never been convinced of something that you were in the beginning on the other side of, then that is very telling about you, and not in a good way as in something to be proud of, but feel free to continue to live under that " know it all rock"☺️☺️. There has always been and always will be disinformation, half truths and the straight out and out lies. Just think back to the garden of Eden, and just look at how it all started, and how just much further we are down the road now.
I'm going to attempt to tell two different tales and I challenge you to see yourself, in one or the other storyline . You may remember yourself in your teenage years and people making fun of you because you were a virgin. Day in and day out on the school bus, or in gym class or in the lunch room, they made fun of you. They told you, that you were a looser and not cool. They may have framed it as what are you waiting for?....prince charming!. Or, made it sound like you were an odd ball or freak because you hadn't just crossed it off your to do list. ☺️They may have tried to entice you as it's exciting and no big deal and it's a lot of fun. That's a big fat lie, I don't know of anyone who talks about their first time, just being all that and a bag of chips ☺️☺️. Perhaps you were one of those individuals taking the high road and wanted it to be special and with just the right person or saving yourself for marriage ☺️. Whatever or wherever the relentless pursuit took you, at some point you probably realized that the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. ☺️ It can be years later, but at some place and time you will probably realize that you gave away something very special and precious. Maybe it's college or straight into the work force, but you have those friends who encourage you to be monkey see, monkey do☺️☺️. You are feeling more confident and thinking that it was just a learning curve and that everyone has those. So, you meet that special boy or girl, hopefully not both ☺️☺️. It's time for another test drive and you are thinking that things are going pretty smoothly and you start thinking that maybe they could be the one. I don't know what happened , maybe they cheated and as painful as that maybe, it's better to know that on the front end, then after three kids and a mortgage. People say that they fall in love, and so if that is true, then perhaps they fail out of love. True love doesn't work that way, but it does for way to many people and I'm not even going to say people in the world, because it's another one of those things that the church has adopted and is running full speed with.
Maybe the third time is the charm, and I'm being super kind to say the third time, because there is usually a great deal of show and tell going on, and it's not that unusual for the partner exchange to end up in the double digits ☺️☺️. Anyhow, we are clicking and tracking pretty fast this time out and maybe just maybe an unplanned pregnancy has us thinking alter , more so than we were at first, after all you could do far worst than this one and probably have.☺️☺️. Hopefully some years past before you discover that all of the surface in common stuff , didn't match the really important stuff, that can make a huge difference if you are on opposite ends of the spectrum. There is always some sort of a snag, and some will tell that they can be fixed with a bigger house, a. baby , or an absolutely breath taking vacation, but when you get there, it's still the person that you aren't to crazy about right now ☺️☺️. So we get to some impasse, but not really, we just don't want to do the work, and it's way more fun to be selfish and to make some lawyer rich. ☺️Regardless of however long the matrimony gig lasted, most feel as if they are entitled to some fun because whatever was going on the last fifteen or twenty years was the complete opposite of what anyone would call fun. We were so in love and all we can think about now is our freedom, and not making that mistake again, but most do. In fact it's amazing just how little we learned and how much it looks like some place that we've been before and vowel to never return. I'm not real sure if and when we figure out that we are the common denominator and just not very good at relationships, but we think that we are better at it than we actually are. There is a whole slew of reasons for that, but most have to do with our inability to look in the mirror and take an honest assessment of ourselves... ouch!
So it's just where we are living. It's pretty hard not to go out to the farmers market on the weekend and not run into someone who knows where that birth mark or tattoo is placed , that can't be seen by the public at large☺️☺️. Maybe its just you out by yourself and you are driving by some restaurant, venue or game room that holds some special memories. If its not that , then it's all of the dreams that we had for our future together and you just haven't been able to get there with the last few people that you have seen. After while it starts to feel like the proverbial hamster wheel with interchangeable names and faces. You have been waiting for some kind of a epiphany , and it comes at the strangest time, and in the strangest way. You are out and about with your Bro's or Ho's and you find yourself at a comedy club and the comic is talking about how sad it is to just get married out of high school or whatever, but it's your " First" and to be locked down the rest of your life with one penis or one vagina, and while he's saying it a light comes on and you don't even believe that he believes in what he is getting laughs for☺️☺️
Suddenly you have a flash back to high school and those very first conversations about sex and realize that you have been taking a lifetime of bad advice and from people who couldn't possibly know what they are talking about, because they have made all of the same stupid mistakes that you have.☺️☺️. Divorced, broke, miserable kids, and just trying to get through the days, weeks and months, without people knowing about how much you are hurting and wish that you had made different decisions. Looking back looks like an absolute war zone with so many people that either sent you to the *triage , or they were there at the works of your hands. After while you just feel numb and you start to question if true and real love is even a thing or possible, but remember that you had something of convenience that pretended to be love, but actually wasn't. There are just so many complications from juggling kids and career, to trying to be their friend, instead of a parent, because you really don't want them to point out the wreck that your life has become....but they know, and they know full well. How can I be skimming over the surface and not be talking about some of the hard specifics, and it be this sad and painful?
Let's just turn the page and by a show of hands, how many of you out in the audience have parents that have been married forty plus years, keep those hands up, how about fifty plus years, sixty plus years, ok, beyond that they are just to old to run away ☺️☺️. If people are people, what's wrong with our none committal spoiled generation?. Maybe this is another one of those places where we have believed more lies, such as your spouse or significant other is supposed to make you happy....don't get me started!!. While they shouldn't be consistently going out of their way to make you unhappy, making and keeping you happy is a ton of pressure to put on someone, and it has a tendency to be disastrous. So!, what about the one penis or one vagina for the rest of your days? Well first up it's commendable but far from easy. I'm pretty sure that its some place that most people don't give a thought to , as far as long range thinking goes Talking to any longer term couples they will tell you that they have had their hard times and probably times themselves where they weren't sure if they were going to make it or not. They could make the distinction between not liking their partner on certain days , while continuing to love them. The road was probably extremely bumpy at times, but quitting wasn't their first response and it didn't even make the cut , while burying them in the back yard was in close contention ☺️☺️. I mean when we look at or see those couples that have done it God's way, it warms our hearts, and we think how cool, but it's also convicting of us who haven't finished the race in that fashion. We have no idea of what kind of heart aches and pains that they have endure through the years, but we do sometimes catch a glance at the mixture of life and love .
We have seen them give each other a glance from across a crowded room and smile as if their heads . and hearts were in the same place at the same time. We have heard them finish one another sentences . It's amazing that they know exactly how to make one another feel special and honored and love doing it as if it was their life's calling. We have seen their steely eyed resolve, that says , hell or high water, that I'm here for you. They respect and care for one another in a way that no one else in the whole world could do, except God , and they know that someday will be sweet sorrows as they depart and wait for the other on the other side. They have never had to try and recall who they did what with, because its only been the two of them. They don't have painful memories and comparisons about old loves of times gone by, because it was always just the two of them . They don't have thoughts of an upgrade or a younger model, because its always just been the two of them. They never worry about calling out the wrong name , at the most inappropriate of time's, because its always just been the two of them. ☺️☺️. They don't have kids that fall under yours, mine and ours☺️☺️. There is no baby momma or baby daddy drama and what a blessing that can be☺️☺️. We love hearing their stories of how they met and the charm of the setting as if it was something magical about it , and we think that it was another era ago go when people were just old fashioned and didn't have all of the distractions of the day. There is some truth to that, but we make the choice to be distracted or not, or to be focused on that one special person for the rest of our days.
I'm not out to condemn any one and I know that a lot of times in life, things happen which weren't of our choosing. I have seen the old couples who are bitter and angry and they treat until death do us part as a race☺️☺️. I know that people get married sometimes for the wrong reasons at times and I also know that sometimes they stay married for the wrong reasons as well . I wonder sometimes if it hurts more to be with them , or more so without them, and if the pain will cause us to be adaptive and to make changes to improve our situation, instead of digging in our heels. Selfishness is almost always a short cut to divorce.
Its not a positive slant , but what if you looked at marriage as life without parole☺️☺️. It may not be positive or funny, but marriage is supposed to be a life sentence, ok , a life long adventure, yeah, let's go with that ☺️☺️. I think the key or the trick is never wanting to be released or " paroled". I think that the mindset has to be that you could never see or want to do life without that one special person. They can't just be an add on , as if your life is a la carte, and they would just be delicious side dish. They need to be essential, kind of like the air that you breath, and maybe your heart just aches a tiny little bit when you are apart from one another.
I don't know where you are or if you even see yourself here at all, but I think that we have all fallen victim to taking bad advice, at one time or the other , or believing lies or half truths. Things that we wish that we had never heard or considered. I'm still not a seminary guy, but I don't see lies or misinformation in God's word. I believe that God always wants the best for us, even if we don't always see it that way. God says certain things and put certain things in place for our protection, but when we choose to go another route, we can't come back and try and blame God for the dysfunction and all of the sorrows. I know from first hand experience, that God says to ask for His wisdom in life and not just for what seems like the really tough decisions. He tells us to protect our hearts and not to just give it away to people who are unworthy of it. He tells us to not be in mixed company , with people who have a different world view, different belief systems, and ultimately don't know Him, so people outside of the family of God. I really can't think of to many places where God hasn't spoken. He tells us how to handle money, so that we can be generous and not locked into debt. He gives us guidelines for raising children, so they don't turn out entitled and spoiled rotten. He has very clear guidelines for marriage and while they aren't a promise for success, it highly elevates your chances for being a lifer, and a person who would never wish for parole. This is all great, but the kicker is the invitation that He makes for you to just spend time with Him. If we don't occasionally just sit quietly before Him, then you could possibly be missing something that He has specifically just for you. There is or at least should be some kind of order to life, so as we part ways today, think about this. The things in life that are important, don't always come across as urgent, and the things that scream urgent, aren't usually that important. Time with God is important and I guess the question is do you see Him that way!
