- Not The Only One!
- 07 Feb 25
- Post # 179
- ” I Speak and You Listen”
- Howdy!
- Hey welcome again. I don’t know if this one will ever hit the presses or not. It’s not unusual for me to share personal stories. Sometimes they are mine and other times I may appropriate, borrow, or down right steal a part of someone’s else’s story. Sometimes I will use actual names if it’s something good and positive, and if I have their permission. Other times it’s like that old TV show ” Drag Net” and the names are changed to protect the innocent. Well!, none of us are actually innocent, so it’s just doing the right thing by not dragging someone through the mud, even though it’s really tempting at times☺️☺️. There have been people who have been a great source of inspiration to me, and sometimes their brokenness brings some kind of healing to my broken pieces. That is what brings us here today…..my broken parts.
- This blog is called ” Not The Only One “, because I believe that I’m not the only person on the planet that is subject to dysfunction, and sometimes its just helpful to others knowing that they aren’t alone. As I said sometimes I will share personal things, but very, very rarely anything intimate. Well today we pull back the mask or the curtain to see what has been lurking in the dark☺️☺️. My old pastor from my last church is a Midwest guy , and I loved him to death. He had his country sayings and one of them is what he called a “Twoffer”. Most people refer to this as two birds with one stone, but whatever ☺️☺️. So today we have a ” Twoffer”, and sometimes they can sneak up on you. It’s that proverbial plot twist , where you are expecting one thing and something else cold cocks you from left field somewhere ☺️☺️. Sometimes it’s nothing better than having an unwilling participant, and we have one of those today. This is the person who wants to go through life as unnoticed as possible. They absolutely hate being drug into whatever it is that you have going on. When they find themselves in the spot light, for whatever reason, they only have one constant response and it’s….WHY??☺️☺️ It’s why me and is this necessary, not totally necessary, but, just at all, why do we have to do this? Just would rather do the whole root canal thing instead ☺️☺️
- They serve as the straight guy or girl in a comedic skit, that is completely unwelcome ☺️☺️. My unwilling subject today is my very own son. He’s a chip off of the old block in a lot of ways , but once we get past his devilish good looks, he’s mostly his mother’s kid☺️☺️. It’s not a shot, just truth, just like my daughter looks like her mother, but she is me through and through. I probably talk about my daughter much more, because she is just out there engaging life more, and if nothing else I’m a constant reminder to her of all of the things that I tried in parenting, that were a complete flop….don’t be your dad☺️☺️. We are here for my son today and as I’ve hinted at in the past , he is the one who carried many of the scars from our divorce and he still packs them up and carries them around to a lesser degree now, but ever present. I’ve been on the record more times than I care to think about, as to how divorce is just devastating. There are smiles often hiding deep emotional pain. My son, being who he is and all male, he has chosen the path of compartmentalization , which really hasn’t worked to well for him, primarily because of his big tender heart. He refuses to talk to anyone, yeah, he’s one of those guys and I use to be as well, so there is still hope for him☺️☺️. So he really took it on the chin and as kids often do, they blame themselves when things don’t work out with mom and dad is . Oddly, my daughter is the one who came out of it the least jacked up and probably was the most objective one out of the four of us. She processed it, still scars , just to a lesser degree.
- The divorce severely changed my relationship with my Son and until this very day we are still trying to work through things. There is no getting back, what was lost, its just lost. It actually pains my son to think about us once having happy times as a family because it just seems that much more horrible and unbearable for him. He’s like, how did we go from this to that, and sometimes it seems that it was so quickly. So for him it was all or nothing and he only chooses to remember the not so good stuff. I wish that I could tell you that I understood the human brain and all of its complexities, but I can’t. The divorce turned my son and I into strangers to some level and I think that his big picture concept was that people who love one another, don’t do and say and behave the way that we did near the end. I know that he was a teenager and impressionable, but he’s like , how dare you guys to behave that way and call it love…..and he was right! I’m not going to say that it’s complicated, I think that gets way to much play now days. What I will say is that we live in a world where both of those realities are true and they exist simultaneously. In fact we are probably the most guilty of hurting the people that we love the most. It’s an odd way of thinking about sleeping with the enemy, but there were nights , where that was absolutely true as well ☺️☺️.
- I’m not really sure how to introduce the “twoffer” to the script, but here goes nothing. This is where we get into the title and maybe the heart of it all. I don’t know where you thought that I was going with this one, but that opening line is to me and for me and from God Himself. While I believe that there is only one true God, I believe that people have all sorts of ways of getting in touch with God and meeting with Him. I don’t believe that it’s like wearing a lucky pair of socks for the game or your team won’t win☺️☺️ , and if anybody tells you that there is a right way or some prescript way to meet with or communicate with God, you should run fast and far away☺️☺️. None of this is meant to be a boast, but just kind of the way that things work for me and that’s a big part of it, finding what works for you, because God will meet with You anytime and anywhere, He just wants to spend time with You. I usually journal my prayer time with God and it’s a reminder of where we have been together and also a good way to be reminded of His faithfulness. This next thing will sound weird to some of you and perfectly normal to the rest, but I have some really hard conversations with God in the mornings. There is no sugar coating. It’s completely raw , and if I’m honest, I’ve probably said and shared things with God that I’ve never said to anyone else. Remember!, this is me and my time with God , so I’m not trying to indirectly throw shade in anyone’s direction , but why dress it up, if God already knows it all. I think that we loose focus of the fact that God is all knowing. It’s not like He’s going to be surprised or caught off guard, remember, He created you and knows all about you and your highs and lows and He still chooses us.
- Maybe this is just more weirdness that will make total sense to some, but it’s the whole talking to God thing. Yes, He speaks to us! Some will say ….yeah we talk to God as in prayer or whatever the strange things are floating around in your head, but it’s more or less a one way conversation and it’s not supposed to work that way. Maybe a news flash or just a head scratcher for some. My son likes to say that God likes to tell us what we want to hear and boy do I wish that was true, but it’s totally not☺️☺️. See here’s the deal, sometimes I get up in the morning and have hard conversations with God, a lot of times that’s a two way street and God says hard things to me. He does it in a loving way, but I think that’s because the things that He says at times are so much more crushing or weighty and He remembers that I’m just mere dust☺️☺️, and I could be blown away ☺️.
- This maybe another one of those things where I might loose or confuse some. I said that there are different ways for people to connect with God, and God has different ways of connecting with us and speaking to us, and since we are all so different, there is just a variety of ways that takes place. It’s in the Bible and I still believe that God speaks to some through dreams and visions. Sometimes God will speak through other people, such as maybe a pastor. Have you ever been in church and felt as the message was especially crafted for you and your situation? Probably because it was , and it was God speaking through someone else to you. Maybe this is my skepticism, but I’m a little leery when someone says that they have a word for me from God. I’m not saying that can’t happen, because it does and all the time, but make sure that it’s a trusted friend or source. I mean if God can speak through a donkey, He can clearly use anyone or anything ☺️☺️. I’ve driven down the road and seen a billboard with a none religious message on it and had God speak truth to me. When I say that He can use anything, I truly mean it. It may sound ” sissified “, but God has used a song on the radio to completely break my heart and the next thing I know, I’m a grown man crying ☺️☺️. Yep it’s absolutely true. While God can choose to be wildly creative in the ways that He speaks to us , I still believe that the primary way that He speaks to us is through His word, the Bible. If this is missing from your life, it could just possibly explain some of those one way conversations ☺️☺️
- Let’s drill down a little bit on the whole ” Twoffer ” thing, before our time gets away. One of the ways that God will communicate with me is through repetition, probably because I’m a little on the slow side, but probably more so the stiff necked thing and wanting to do things my own way. On the surface may not sound like a big deal, but it’s kind of hard to be a Christ follower, when I’m off doing my own thing. It’s like one of my grandson’s picking flowers out in the field in the middle of the baseball game….just for context ☺️☺️. So , God will say the same thing to me from various sources and all kinds of settings, as to say ” I’m speaking, are you listening “? I wish that the answer was always yes, but that’s just not the truth. The truth is I often miss God speaking and it will hit me sometime later like someone who has missed the punch line to a joke, and I’m like, OOHHH !, Now I get it, I guess it’s better late than not at all☺️☺️ So!, are you ready for the reoccurring theme and the thing that God has so desperately trying to get my attention about?
- Here is the intimacy part. God has been calling me out on my trust of Him in our relationship. That’s a really HUGE and BIG deal. Well, just think about it for a second. What love relationship do you have in your life that doesn’t require trust? It hit me a little bit like Jesus asking the apostle Peter three times in a row, do you love me? ….ouch!. There is probably way more here than we have time to unpack, but we kind of need to look at something that’s not exactly easy to look at, or look away from. I mean of course it’s like of course God , I trust You….but do I really?
- I’m probably guilty of doing way more things that I don’t consult God with first. I don’t want to think of myself as one of those people who think of God as being to busy for what I consider as the lesser significant things in life, because I know that He’s not, but still…. I wish that I could tell you that He was my first stop and one stop shop for all things, but that’s false and inaccurate as well, just keeping it real ☺️☺️. If I’m being totally legit, I think that I trust God for the things that I know are two big for me … aka out of my control, such as salvation, totally a God thing. I’m grateful for it, but nothing I could ever do, but accept it as a free gift and believe for it, as in having faith. I think most of us have those big things that we are totally dependent on God for, if it’s not some health diagnosis, then it’s the all to elusive mate that we have spent years waiting for God to bring into our lives.☺️☺️ This is all kind of superficial, because I really do believe that it’s about the day to day things and those ” lesser significant ” things that I’m completely comfortable with doing in my own power and strength. Sometimes it’s like being a heavy weight fighter and you are heading into the ring ” work”, and you have to get pumped up to be all of the things that You believe other people expect you to be. If it’s not work then it’s family or school and sometimes the demands just seem never ending and God just wants us to rest. Rest in Him and on Him and let Him do the heavy lifting, and I’m probably to busy smacking His hand away with an ” I got this”…..crazy right?? How can God be our constant help if I’m always being super independent and I’m not sure if that just shows a lack of trust or my level of stupidity ☺️☺️.
- There is just so much more here and it’s different for each and every one of us and while I don’t know what it’s like to face years of infertility, pleading with God for a child. I know that we all have those only God can do things in our lives. On some level it’s just crazy at the level and number of decisions that we make every day with little to no consideration of God in the equation. I’m not saying that every time you get hungry that you should have some big meeting with God over what it should be. We pray over our meals and give thanks, but compare it to people here and around the world who are doing just that, praying to God as to where their next meal is coming from, again just a little context. We plan trips and take promotions and all sorts of things without God or even a mere thank You Lord.
- I’m definitely going to be paying closer attention to my walk with God in my day to day. I think that it’s one of those caution things or maybe preparing me for something a head and it’s really going to require me to trust God, when I may be tempted to be impatient and anxious and really not want to be trusting Him. I don’t always frame it as a trust issue as much as it may be a timing thing. I sometimes look at God’s prep time as indifference and nothing going on, and that’s not usually the case, even if it looks like and feels that way.
- Well it’s time to shut this puppy down and still, where is the “twoffer “? Where here it is . God has taken this season in my life, don’t really know so much as a season as an issue, but less not get distracted here☺️☺️. As I was saying God has used this to show me that, while my son loves me,….he doesn’t trust me. Yeah, a big slap squarely between the eyes. We have lost something and we need to get it back. I went from being dad the greatest ever to the dumbest rock on the planet and it’s all me. I violated trust with him as a dad. My son has this major mentality about protecting what is important and the things that should be cherished, that’s what he always saw and got from me, and he thinks and believes that I frivolously threw all of that away . I have made all of the most sincere apologies ever, but I can’t make him accept that. It’s not the same thing as infidelity in a marriage, but very similar in trying to earn back that trust. He will tell you that He doesn’t care, but everything about his person says that it’s a very big deal to him. He has spent many years trying to reconcile the two and I definitely get that one. God and His life lessons☺️☺️
- Till Next Time ✌️ Peace!
- Sandy The Southerner
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