“Monsters Of The Heart”

Not The Only One!
Post #142
03 Jul 24
” Monsters of The Heart “
Howdy!
Thanks for once more, for checking in. Life is a journey and I believe that we should keep learning and experiencing life at some level until we leave the planet. It’s almost a tragedy of sorts, that as we get older that we become more set in our ways , and sometimes that means stuck. There is a difference between the two. We can be set in our ways, which could mean that we are anchored and governed by some set of principles and values. They govern us and our behaviors when the world seems totally out of control. The alternative is to be stuck in your ways, and that can constitute not being open. I mean open to anything. You could be not open to learning anything new. It could include loosing your sense of adventure and even for the smallest of things. The primary thing that stuck means is that You just know all that You need to know, so you aren’t open to suggestions that possibly could improve the quality of life, but for most , it means that You aren’t open to other people’s point of view, even if it means that we just agree to disagree, but You aren’t willing to go that far.☺️☺️
If you read my last post then you know that relationships can be extremely hard, and that’s true, doesn’t matter who you are. I do believe that for the most part that you get out of relationships, as much as you invest in them. That’s a fair statement, but of course there are always exceptions. It’s universal that all relationships require work. I’ve been keenly reminded that what isn’t nurtured in some way will die. Most of us can remember a friend or family member that we were really close to at some point, but over the years, one or the other, and perhaps both, stopped investing into the relationship, and now it’s none existent.☺️☺️. It’s like belonging to some social group , church, or perhaps you spent an extended time away from the job market, and once you have that long silence, it’s not easy to get back and to connect.
There is a long standing disturbing trend, and that is when a relationship falters or collapses for some reason, our escape plan is to turn that person into the biggest and most horrible monster imaginable. We turn people into something that very rarely reflects who they really are. We have a tendency to devalue the good and play up on what may have been one of their worst moments. I am amazed at some of the things and reasons that people will throw perfectly good relationships away over. I thought you were my friend, but You didn’t back me up, when the police officer pulled me over for texting and driving, …after all it would have been the two of ours word against his….there for a majority ☺️☺️. I think some friendship and relationships are built on what have you done for me lately, or what can I get out of you…..how sad!
It’s not contained to just personal relationships, but we also see it in partnership in business as well. Regardless of who did what, there will be some pretty substantial accusations from both parties. It will often be set up as some sort of dominoes effect, where this happened and it lead to this and then we have two waring parties at each other’s throats. It’s really a sad state of affairs that often , somewhere down the road, enriches the inside of a lawyers pocket really well ☺️☺️. Now, my dark and sadistic side, just loves, loves when it among politicians and bonus points for name calling and extra bonus points if it get physical 😀 ☺️☺️. They are ordinary people , just not to often in touch with reality. ☺️. We turn situations into the most murky of circumstances, that even experienced mediators have difficulty deciphering what’s what. After all these people are monsters and should be treated as such. We burn bridges that we will never ever be able to cross again. We have to ensure that everyone that you encounter knows what a horrible person that they are, and don’t feel to bad about it, because they will do the same for you☺️☺️.
When we talk about them and we surely will to anyone who will listen ☺️☺️, we want to shroud them in skepticism, as if you were somehow duped by them. We will talk about them with great sarcasm, and if people aren’t buying that one, we just move on to slander # 101. I think that sometimes we feel that we have a right to assassinate someone’s else’s character because they disappointed or hurt us in some shape form or fashion. You can believe that all that You want to, but you are still dead wrong. This is especially true in business, unless you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they somehow have unscrupulous business practices as an on going standard. Word of mouth can cause serious negative effects on a business.
The biggest and scariest monster that you think may be hiding under the bed, or peeking out at you from the closet, are actually tucked away in the corners of our brains and every once in a while, it will travel the twelve inches or so and kick your heart around, because misery loves company ☺️☺️. Sometimes it will do it so often that you would swear that it’s training for a marathon or something ☺️☺️. I’m pretty sure that the saying that ” Hell has no fury , like a woman scorn” was not birth out of a friendship or a sour business deal, but in the context of something that resembled something on a romantic level, so we should probably dive in on that one☺️☺️.
One thing that I say often that is so absolutely the truth and that is that we are all broken in some way, and if You are pulling out the not me card, then you are just in denial. ☺️Broken and hurting people, hurt other broken and hurting people and we could just close up shop on that one ☺️☺️☺️. One of the things that most fascinates me in life is how we treat our romantic interest, when romance has up and gone☺️☺️. One of the most common techniques in counseling now days is trying to get a couple to remember what attracted them to one another in the first place. Everyone has a story and a road that they traveled to be together. Sometimes it can be something as simple as we met in college and the rest is history. However sometimes people have to fight to be together. It can be a real challenge crazy family involvements. It could be a long distance thing, that they had to navigate and juggle careers. It can be a blended family situation and it’s just an endless number of scenarios. When the vitality is about to depart from a relationship, there are usually always these two things present. One, I can’t remember any good times together, which is ludicrous , because who enters into a relationship with only bad times? If you guessed insane people and career criminals, then just pet yourself on the back☺️☺️. The other just as jaded thing is that you can only see things from your perspective and that is the only one that matters or counts or is relevant. Sometimes one or the other partner has done something to violate trust, and that’s another hold different set of parameters, but not totally unfixable, it just means that there is hard work ahead to rebuild and restore what has been broken or lost. I know that we often want to think that somethings are to hard or unforgivable but I believe that with God all of those wounds are capable of healing. I’ve seen it in my life and in the life of other people, and since we always want to run to worse case scenarios, yes even when there has been infidelity.
I believe that anytime you have invested your time, energy and resources into someone else’s life and they have done the same for you, then they should be given the benefit of the doubt, when it comes to working things out. We shouldn’t make assumptions , but be inquisitive. Things may not always be what they look like on the surface and I can almost guarantee you that his thought pattern is no where up to speed with hers☺️☺️. We often miss out on the blessing on the other side, if we will just do the hard work and not be so fast to throw in the towel . We need to practice humility and be honest and open as much as possible. Those little* snarky remarks and comments that come out of your mouth, may have felt good when you were saying them, but they are the absolute opposite of being helpful and if you don’t regret saying them , they will absolutely add to the thickness of the walls that you are trying to dismantle. ☺️☺️
Here’s one to take the cake. I mentioned trust, monsters and misery. As a general rule, I do believe that for the most part and to some degree that we find what we are looking for in life. I wanted a husband, he’s not perfect actually a bit of a slob, bottom line is you got a husband, same thing with kids, you wanted them, just never knew what a pain in the ass they can be at times☺️☺️. There are people who don’t trust themselves. They are usually in the camp that men are pigs, or all the good ones are taken. Sometimes men just think that all women are just crazy. Those are both provocative perspectives, but if that is what you believe, then that is what you will encounter. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy . Your subconscious will help you turn any normal person into a monster. It’s a pattern of the last four guys have been this or that, and for lack of time to actually to get to know them we will just label them as narcissist. We just have to find something wrong with them to ensure that the thesis stays in tact☺️☺️. We still have more cake to eat.☺️☺️. This is either something that you have done or seen done. There is something known as lumination . This is when we allow it to just fester and consume our minds and we want to see them in the worse possible light. You will play their transgression over and over again in your head, and you want to surround yourself with people who will certify that you are a grade a victim and that your actions were completely justifiable. In fact the only people you will surround yourself with is the people who will encourage your lumination, whether it’s correct or not. I’ve been hurt and I have every right to hold onto my pain and to share it with anyone who will listen and tell me that I’m right. I’ve known of people who have quit a professional counselor, because they didn’t tell them what they wanted to hear and to be justified. Well you already have your yess men and women that you have surrounded yourself with so why bother with a professional ☺️☺️
It’s always so easy to see what someone’s else’s short comings and flaws are, but we rarely see or take credit for our own crap. If I can’t paint them as this horrible monster then my story isn’t worth telling, so we will just continue to add different variables, so now their teeth are fangs and their eyes are red and evil. Lumination is one of the biggest things that prevent people from healing and moving forward in their story . They are a perpetual ground hog story ☺️☺️.
It’s been said by countless people down through the millennium , but God said it first and probably best. The thing is ,only love can conquer hate. Only love can reset a relationship , but it must be genuine. I have had people tell me that love is not enough and doesn’t matter and, frankly I have to question, what they call love. Love , genuine love is the only thing that can make it slightly possible for you to step into someone’s else’s shoes and maybe begin to see the why , behind what took place, or where you began to come off of the rails. Yes, there will be times when you will just see a selfish person engaging in a selfish act, but most times that is not the whole truth.
Now days it seems that everything is open for discussion and debate. You have your truth and I have mine , but all things can not, and again I will say, can not be true, especially when they stand in stark contrast to one another. That being said, maybe you are a person who doesn’t believe in monsters and especially not monsters dwelling deep within ourselves, but they are there. It’s a funny thing about monsters and that is, you almost have to be one to recognize one☺️☺️. The monster that lives within each and every one of us is called sin. There are no exceptions here, and it encourages us all to set up our own little kingdoms of mine! I do what I want, when and how I want, and no one or thing gets to stand in the way of that. It’s my life and I get to live it the way I want to and see fit. On the surface, who can have a problem with that?. Despite the common miss conception, the world is not Your pearl or oyster. We have to engage with other people and there always has been and always will be conflict within the world and with other people. All in all , for most our biggest conflict is with God, because He desires humility and we desire self. Self preservation is what governs most of humanity. We seek to exalt ourselves over our kingdoms , over others, and yes even over God Himself. He is the one that gave you that life in the first place that you’re so kingly focused on reigning.
If you ever think yourself not to be a monster, just look in the mirror. The mirror may tell you that you have it pretty much together. Hair is neatly in place, and no food stuck in your teeth ☺️☺️, but a better and much more accurate portrayal of yourself is to look to calvary, look to the cross, and you will indeed see the monster that you are. You will see how You allowed an innocent person take your place and to receive a punishment that had your name written all over it. All I’m saying is before we demonize others and taking our paint to the canvas to paint and portray them as monsters , let’s not forget who we truly are ourselves and to have some compassion when others miss the mark. After all that is what God did for you, and shouldn’t we be passing that on to others. Don’t love others in the way that You want to be loved, but love them in the way that God has loved you.❤️❤️.
Till Next Time ✌️ Peace!
Sandy The Southerner

Reply
,
Reply All
or
Forward

Send

Share on Facebook

Save