Post #13 & 1/2 & #14
This is to act as a follow up to some feedback that I got about the last post that I did on Brotherhood. In stead of doing another whole post, I’m just going to do a little post script at the beginning of post #14. The feedback was about the make up or chemistry of the small groups. The first small group that I became a part of following the 1995 Promise Keepers rally, was pretty amazing, because it brought together men from basically three different generations, from different backgrounds and social economic settings and we all got to lean from one another. So there were young fathers such as myself, and at the same time Larry had two late teen daughters at home, and a son whom had already left the nest, and there were a grandfather or two present as well. There was the corporate, blue collar, and small business owner all represented in this group and the common bond was Jesus, or men who wanted to be better husbands and fathers, and that is the call that God has placed on each of our lives. Some were college educated and some were not, but everyone brought a unique perspective to the table, and we all benefited from the diversity, before diversity became a catch phrase for corporate America. I hope this gave some insight into the chemistry and make up of the group. The group I’m currently a member of, is more seasoned, so I’m going to say forty-five and up, with vastly different political views, which keeps things fun.😀
Post #14
NTOO-Not The Only One
Post# 14
HOLDING ON!
Have you ever wonder why we hang on to certain things in life. Sometimes things hold some sentimental value, such as a family airloom. Perhaps its something from a time capsule, which magically transports us back to high school or some other time in life that represents a time when life was easier or less incubersome. It can be a smell, a song ,an old picture, or even an article of clothing that no longer fits us anymore. I remember a smell out in the woods, don’t really know how to describe it or what it was, but whenever I smell it , it immediately transports me back to June of 81 , and Fort Benning ,GA. I will admit to being a bit more sensitive and sentimental as I’ve gotten older, I’m beginning to believe that it just comes with the territory and is part of the process of getting older. This week my daughter was forced to put down the last Lab we had as a family. I mean when I was married and we were all living under one roof. It was as if it was the last thing that we all had a piece of collectively. Just last year, I finally parted with an old van that we had as a family as well. Its almost as if it signaling some kind of finality. My ex and I were done by 2010, and I believe in some earlier post I mentioned or hinted about how I feel about divorce, I believe that it is awful and leaves some of the most deep and devastating scares in life, its right up there with when parents have to bury their children, just devastating. Molly, that was the dogs name, she was the third in the line of three black Labs we owned. All of them great animals , really good with the kids and family, full of love and affection. They were all girl dogs, kind of my preference, they just seem to catch on to the whole house training thing faster than their male counterparts. Bailey was first, followed by Zoey and then came Molly. They were all there together and everyone knew their place. As Bailey got older, with arthritis and other ailments she never relinquished her place as the alpha. I had the very unpleasant responsibility of putting her down in 2012. I’m a little off point as usual, I know what a surprise! My marriage to the mother of my children, ended tragically, I use that word not because it was mean or nasty, but for the simple reason that we just couldn’t get on the same page, and be in the same place at the same time. When I was trying really hard, she could care less, and the opposite was true as well. We all have a perspective and a story, usually designed to make us look good, or to bestow some kind of victim hood status, and to make the other person a villain . However the simple truth is, it takes two to make it work and two to blow it up, everyone has a hand to play. Back to the dog being put down, it just said other than the kids, we had no further shared experiences from our past. This is not a lament of the marriage. I think its more like when you have a sick family member or friend that is not doing well and expected to pass. Well you know that it is coming, but when it actually occurs, its still a shock. So, from my old accounting days, I guess its all reconciled, all of the columns match and everything is balanced. Sometimes we hold on to things and we don’t truly know why, it could be a bad cell phone plan, or even a relationship that has run its course and is long past its expiration date, been there, done that! I’m convinced that sometimes we get comfortable with the dysfunction and Chaos , because it is all we have known for some extended period of time. I’m not here to make judgments about the things that we hold on to, or even the things that we choose to release from our lives. I guess my challenge or thought process is , do we hold on to things that hold us back from moving forward in life, or some how holds us captive, by the means of fear, or some other negative emotion. There is such a thing as not being able to get out of own way. We all have such intricate workings into our minds as to why something makes sense to us and no one else. I once knew a lady, who kept an old dried up rose, that was from her mother’s funeral. Every time she would look at it, it would make her cry and well up with deep sorrow. I know that every one has stuff I just thought that possibly, just maybe there could be some other way to honor her mother’s memory, and to process her grief. I don’t believe believe that there is anything as sinister as Stockholm Syndrome going on, but we do find odd reasons to hold on to certain things. My weird brain wonders where is the line is drawn between being a collector, and a not to far off hoarder😀 . I get that most parents have some little trinket that there kids made while in grade school, yes it was cute, but after you are gone, I doubt that it will hold the same net worth to them . This is probably all on me, because I’m not a fan of clutter, whether it is to much stuff on the counters in the kitchen, or me having unresolved loose ends in my head. I guess at the end of the day, we all have justifications, for the thing that we find dear and true to us.
Until next time ✌️
Sandy the Southerner
